boundaries

28 Lessons from 28 years of life

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It’s pretty incredible to look back to see how far you’ve come.

This is my 2nd time doing this since I started the blog (check out last years roundup here) and every year I’m blown away by all the things I’ve taken away.

I spent so many years of my life on automatic pilot, going through the motions and not taking stock in my life. What I was learning, how I was growing. And doing this every year has been such an amazing way to look back and do just that — plus you guys know I LOVE sharing my shiz with you.

So here they are — the mess, the growth, the shifts. I hope they serve as a gorgeous reminder for your own life.


28 lessons from 28 years of life:

  1. Success isn’t about the shiny pennies. It’s about getting clear on what’s truly important to you and going after that feeling every day.

  2. Boundaries are beautiful. When you set them, you are finally able to say no to things you don’t want so you can say yes to the things you do.

  3. The thing that feels like the hardest thing on the planet to do/decide/shift? It’s not. It might suck, and be painful but you’ll get through it.

  4. Anxiety is your intuition giving you clues. This was a huge lesson this year (and therapy) has taught me and it’s allowed me to truly learn how to use it as my superpower instead of feeling overwhelmed by it. 

  5. Run towards the people and experiences that fill your cup.

  6. Trust the gut tugs. This was one of the lessons I didn’t expect to learn and one that has changed so much about the way I navigate life. 

  7. A woman’s body is SO complex and something to be celebrated — periods and all. (Read more about my switch from birth control pills to the copper IUD this year

  8. Vulnerability is strength. Embrace the mess and choose to grow from it.

  9. 20 minute workouts can be just as empowering and challenging as an hour boot camp class. Choosing my time wisely in this way has been such a huge part of my journey this year and my old limiting beliefs that left me in the gym for hours always feeling not enough has been BLASTED on a whole new level with the workout program I’m currently rocking. 

  10. Put yourself first and foremost. Over EVERYTHING. Because you cannot give to anyone or anything if your tank isn’t full first.

  11. That I am a manifesting generator in human design and a 7 on the enneagram (which gave me SOOO much understanding about myself and why I operate the way I do — check out episode 5 of the podcast for more info!)

  12. My boobs do not define me as a woman or a sexual being. Period.

  13. Belief is the root of every possibility we allow into our lives. 

  14. Money doesn’t have to be stressful. We don’t HAVE to live paycheck to paycheck and constantly perpetuate the “I’m broke” cycle and it STARTS with the words we say and the energy we put into the universe. 

  15. Allll about my innate privilege and how I can show up in the self development space AND be an advocate for social change.

  16. Expectations can’t get met if you don’t express them. Ask for what you want. Express what you need. 

  17. Surround yourself with people who have different perspectives and lives than yours. It is the most beautiful way to grow and learn. Don’t know where to start? Follow people online and diversify your feed.

  18. Sharing your story, even when you’re going through the damn thing, can be the most rewarding thing you ever do.

  19. If you don’t like it, change it. You have the power to shift your thoughts/decisions/the way you show up in the world. So do the damn thing and make the shift. Even if it’s hard. 

  20. Change isn’t such a bad thing. I used to be terrified of change but this year has taught me so much about the beauty of leaning into the shifts. Change may be uncomfortable but that discomfort? It’s where all the growth and magic takes place, if you let it.

  21. My heart craves adventure. I need it. I thrive off of it. And the more adventure I can have in my life, the more my soul feels filled the fuck up. So move towards what lights you up. 

  22. Just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. You already have the answers inside of you. Surround yourself with people who help you get clear on what you really want instead of those who prescribe what they do to you. 

  23. Starting your day off with gratitude will change the game. I’ve been doing this for the past 6 months and it truly puts my mindset in the best spot. 

  24. Peoples beliefs don’t pay the bills. Do what sets your soul on fire and do so apologetically. Not everyone will get it. But don’t let other peoples thoughts stop you from showing up for what YOU want on YOUR terms.

  25. Community is EVERYTHING. Women are hardwired for community and it MF SUCKS when we don’t feel like we have people in our lives who truly get us. Whether you foster and create your own soul sisterhood like I did or join one (you can sit with us!), seek out a group of women that will set your soul on fire and empower you to be better every single day.

  26. Be an advocate for your health. One of my biggest takeaways from my BRCA journey this year has been standing up for what I want with my doctors. Ask for what you want. Trust your intuition. And don’t just follow doctors orders because they tell you it’s what’s you have to do. Get second, third and fourth opinions. Do your research. Talk to people who’ve been in your shoes. And stand up for your health, it’s all you’ve got.

  27. “What do you need today love?” — a beautiful tool my dear friend Jen Wille shared on episode 21 of the podcast and one that has truly helped me get super acquainted with my innate desires.

  28. The key to living your fuck yes life? Getting rid of the “shoulds” and getting clear on what lights you up and moving ALLLLL THE WAY in that direction. Okay? Ok. 


Which ones are you committed to working on this year?

Xo Amanda

How To Maintain Your Sanity Over the Holidays

 As we head into the holiday season, the inner gremlins and binge eating Amanda of the past starts to get under my skin and truth be told, it's this WEIRD combination of excitement and giddy-ness for the holidays and FEAR of crumbling back into my old ways and starting the cycle over again. 

While I know I've made SO many incredible shifts forward and have been binge free for a year and a half, anyone who has been addicted to something knows that there are triggers that remain, and the holidays have always been a major one for me.

Holidays used to mean daily binges, a shiz ton of negative self worth and an endlessly negative and irritable mindset. 

And this year, I'm determined not to let that happen.

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Do the holidays stress you out too?

I'm a routine gal 100% and the second I get out of my day to day structure, I feel a bit like a fish out of water.

The literal change of scenery can derail me and all of a sudden, I feel like I have to bend over backwards for those around me and putting myself and my health first become the last thing I think about.

Workouts go down the drain because I don't want to be "disrespectful" by taking the time to get it in.

I feel like I have to eat the food that's put in front of me, even if it's stuff that makes me feel like shit.

I push my daily self care routines to the side and find my anxiety at an all time high.

Sound familiar?

Heading into the holidays this year, I'm determined to feel my BEST, while taking time to unplug, fully enjoy myself and indulge in the festivities (and wine, duh). 

And I know that means being intentional with how I show up every single day, especially while I'm out of my normal routine.

I hope these tips help you take agency over YOUR holiday season and gets you one step closer to ending the year feeling your freaking BEST.


TOP 3 TIPS FOR HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR SANITY OVER THE HOLIDAY SEASON
 


1. Get your workout in first thing, every damn day


I don't know about you, but I'm a raging bitch when I don't get my workouts in. And when I'm dealing with the added stress of being away from home, dealing with all the family drama (and love!), taking that time for me first thing is SO KEY to keeping my anxiety at bay and starting my day on a positive note.

So set your alarm, lace your shoes up and get your sweat on.

I'm planning on rocking out a 21 day badass at home workout program that doesn't require any equipment and are only 30 minutes in length so I can get it done quick, no matter where I am!
We're in this together!!!!


2. Set boundaries


Unless you have decided to rock the holidays solo this year (in which case, go you!), you are going to be around family a bunch -- and probably some family members you don't see very often and possibly don't get along with.

Setting boundaries around what you will and will not do is huge, and even more than that -- communicating those boundaries to your family is KEY so that they can respect your needs.

For example: When I'm with my in-laws, they know that discussing politics is off the table because we have diametrically opposed beliefs and it does neither of us any good discussing it.

If you experience something similar with your own family but haven't set those boundaries yet, before the holiday season starts, be sure to sit down with your family and explain that you want to have a wonderful time together and that out of respect to you, you ask that they refrain from discussing anything under the political umbrella while you are together.

This goes for anything else that are boundaries for you.

You don't have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation and just "handle it". You have a voice! So share it and allow the people in your life to rise up.

Setting boundaries is something I only recently started practicing and it's been a complete game changer. I know it can feel scary to put yourself out there and set a boundary with someone else, but I promise you, it is SO empowering to do -- and mutually beneficial! 

Can you imagine a world where we were all clear about our boundaries? Let's start a movement.
 


3. Put time aside for JUST YOU



The best piece of advice I ever received from my coach was to take at least 15-30 minutes a day for time just for ME.

Whether it's getting up early and pouring into my journal or a personal development book or taking my dog for a walk to clear my head, that "me time" is SO important amidst the hustle and bustle of all the social events, dinners and commitments this time of year.

And don't tell me you can't find 15-30 minutes for yourself. Schedule it out if you have to but make it happen. It'll change the game. 


And there you have it!

Let's rock this holiday season feeling our best.

Are you with me?

Xo Amanda