28 Lessons from 28 years of life

It’s pretty incredible to look back to see how far you’ve come.

This is my 2nd time doing this since I started the blog (check out last years roundup here) and every year I’m blown away by all the things I’ve taken away.

I spent so many years of my life on automatic pilot, going through the motions and not taking stock in my life. What I was learning, how I was growing. And doing this every year has been such an amazing way to look back and do just that — plus you guys know I LOVE sharing my shiz with you.

So here they are — the mess, the growth, the shifts. I hope they serve as a gorgeous reminder for your own life.

28 lessons from 28 years of life:

1. Success isn’t about the shiny pennies. It’s about getting clear on what’s truly important to you and going after that feeling every day.

2. Boundaries are beautiful. When you set them, you are finally able to say no to things you don’t want so you can say yes to the things you do.

3. The thing that feels like the hardest thing on the planet to do/decide/shift? It’s not. It might suck, and be painful but you’ll get through it.

4. Anxiety is your intuition giving you clues. This was a huge lesson this year (and therapy) has taught me and it’s allowed me to truly learn how to use it as my superpower instead of feeling overwhelmed by it. 

5. Run towards the people and experiences that fill your cup.

6. Trust the gut tugs. This was one of the lessons I didn’t expect to learn and one that has changed so much about the way I navigate life. 

7. A woman’s body is SO complex and something to be celebrated — periods and all. (Read more about my switch from birth control pills to the copper IUD this year) 

8. Vulnerability is strength. Embrace the mess and choose to grow from it.

9. 20 minute workouts can be just as empowering and challenging as an hour boot camp class. Choosing my time wisely in this way has been such a huge part of my journey this year and my old limiting beliefs that left me in the gym for hours always feeling not enough has been BLASTED on a whole new level with the workout program I’m currently rocking. 

10. Put yourself first and foremost. Over EVERYTHING. Because you cannot give to anyone or anything if your tank isn’t full first.

11. That I am a manifesting generator in human design and a 7 on the enneagram (which gave me SOOO much understanding about myself and why I operate the way I do — check out episode 5 of the podcast for more info!)

12. My boobs do not define me as a woman or a sexual being. Period.

13. Belief is the root of every possibility we allow into our lives. 

14. Money doesn’t have to be stressful. We don’t HAVE to live paycheck to paycheck and constantly perpetuate the “I’m broke” cycle and it STARTS with the words we say and the energy we put into the universe. 

15. Allll about my innate privilege and how I can show up in the self development space AND be an advocate for social change.

16. Expectations can’t get met if you don’t express them. Ask for what you want. Express what you need. 

17. Surround yourself with people who have different perspectives and lives than yours. It is the most beautiful way to grow and learn. Don’t know where to start? Follow people online and diversify your feed.

18. Sharing your story, even when you’re going through the damn thing, can be the most rewarding thing you ever do.

19. If you don’t like it, change it. You have the power to shift your thoughts/decisions/the way you show up in the world. So do the damn thing and make the shift. Even if it’s hard. 

20. Change isn’t such a bad thing. I used to be terrified of change but this year has taught me so much about the beauty of leaning into the shifts. Change may be uncomfortable but that discomfort? It’s where all the growth and magic takes place, if you let it.

21. My heart craves adventure. I need it. I thrive off of it. And the more adventure I can have in my life, the more my soul feels filled the fuck up. So move towards what lights you up. 

22. Just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. You already have the answers inside of you. Surround yourself with people who help you get clear on what you really want instead of those who prescribe what they do to you. 

23. Starting your day off with gratitude will change the game. I’ve been doing this for the past 6 months and it truly puts my mindset in the best spot. 

24. Peoples beliefs don’t pay the bills. Do what sets your soul on fire and do so apologetically. Not everyone will get it. But don’t let other peoples thoughts stop you from showing up for what YOU want on YOUR terms.

25. Community is EVERYTHING. Women are hardwired for community and it MF SUCKS when we don’t feel like we have people in our lives who truly get us. Whether you foster and create your own soul sisterhood like I did or join one (you can sit with us!), seek out a group of women that will set your soul on fire and empower you to be better every single day.

26. Be an advocate for your health. One of my biggest takeaways from my BRCA journey this year has been standing up for what I want with my doctors. Ask for what you want. Trust your intuition. And don’t just follow doctors orders because they tell you it’s what’s you have to do. Get second, third and fourth opinions. Do your research. Talk to people who’ve been in your shoes. And stand up for your health, it’s all you’ve got.

27. “What do you need today love?” — a beautiful tool my dear friend Jen Wille shared on episode 21 of the podcast and one that has truly helped me get super acquainted with my innate desires.

28. The key to living your fuck yes life? Getting rid of the “shoulds” and getting clear on what lights you up and moving ALLLLL THE WAY in that direction. Okay? Ok. 

Which ones are you committed to working on this year?

Xo Amanda

Why I think the celery juice craze is a bunch of bullshit

DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH OVEREATING?

For the longest time, food consumed my life. I was OBSESSED with every diet trend — the celery juice craze y’all know I’m SOOOO in love with? I would have 100% been on that train a few years back.

I had convinced that the only way that I could be “healthy” was to eat bird food and rock every diet trend in sight (which caused my mental health and bank account to suffer REAL quick), and eating quickly became my least favourite activity because it truly controlled my life.

Not to mention it led to years of yo yo-ing like crazy.

Why I’m so AGAINST the trendy diets and health hacks like celery juice? They more often than not ‘cause our bodies to go into distress and lead to the inverse of our intentions: OVEREATING.

Do you struggle with this too? You are SO not alone.

Now I am NOT saying this is true for everyone on the planet. We ALLLLL have different needs and triggers. But I know my gals, my overachieving all or nothing, yo yo dieter babes. If you’re not that and don’t struggle with this shiz, move on sistah ;) But if this resonates hard core, this is for YOU.

Here are 3 tools you can incorporate TODAY to BREAK FREE of your overeating habits:

1. EAT ALL THE FOOD GROUPS. Yup, I said it. When you cut out foods (especially food groups all together), your body literally goes into deprivation mode. Instead of eliminating foods all together, try adding MORE healthy, nutritious foods into your daily eats, while also giving yourself the freedom to enjoy a treat here and there.

2. REDUCE STRESS. Stress is the leading cause to overeating (chronic stress increases the levels of cortisol in our brains, a hormone that increases our appetite) so there is a DIRECT link between stress and overeating. Find simple ways to reduce the stress in your life — exercise, meditation and breathing techniques are some of my faves!

3. FILL UP ON VEGGIES. There’s a reason mom always told you to eat your vegetables. Veggies are the food group that have the highest amount of fiber (and water) at the lowest caloric intake, so you can eat a shizzz ton of them and stay full and satisfied for longer. Plus you get the added benefit of all the those amazeballs nutrients ;)

Can you commit to even just ONE of these tools?

Which one are you gonna try?

Or is there something else that works for you?

Xo Amanda

Why I decided to get a Preventative Double Mastectomy at the age of 27

I've always known that whatever hardship came my way I could handle.

I'm strong willed and a hell of a fighter.

When I was 8, at overnight camp, I was bullied and literally thrown rocks at by the other girls in my cabin. 

When I was 10, I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and unexpectedly couldn't walk and ended up in the hospital for 4 days with the doctors unable to diagnose what was wrong with me. 

I’ve struggled with body image, toxic friendships, losing friendships, orthorexia, the yo yo dieting binge cycle, anxiety, panic attacks, the works, and with self development and the right tools, I’ve overcome them.

But some things you just don’t feel like you can…

When I found out I was positive for the BRCA 1 gene earlier this year, I tried so hard to not let it derail me and have a total breakdown — to be “strong”. But the day I found out, I couldn’t keep it together. I ran to the shower and had a totally hot ass mess breakdown, movie style.

And it’s crazy to think that in 2 weeks, on December 3rd 2018, I’m going to have the official “previvor” status.

Yup, I’m chopping off my tits.

The decision to get a preventative double mastectomy was easy. I knew going into my genetic testing that if I found out I was #brca1 I would be going through with the surgery. (I didn’t WANT to, but I knew that’s what I would want to do given the circumstances.)

I could have gone the preventative screening route — which is a totally valid option! — but I know myself and I knew that I would constantly be living in fear.

Getting tested on the other hand? I put it off for years out of fear. But if there’s one thing I hope my journey with all of this shared is that knowing your predispositions is what gives you AGENCY over your HEALTH and your LIFE.

I’m grateful I know because now, I get to MAKE a choice. I get to stand up to cancer and tell it to fuck right off.

And that is a powerful thing.

Maybe you have a history of breast or ovarian cancer in your family and you can relate. Or maybe you are navigating your journey with a genetic mutation too. Or maybe, you are waiting to do something you know you need to do out of FEAR.

I’m here to tell you you’re not alone, my love. And that if you need ANYTHING, I’m always just a message away.

If you want to learn more about BRCA and my journey with it,

take a listen to this episode of the podcast.

I’ll be blogging more about my recovery journey and everything in between so if we’re not email penpals, be sure to subscribe to my email list to not miss a beat.

Your love & support means the world.

Let’s kick this BRCA gene in the goddamn tits.

Xo Amanda  

Gut Health Matters. Poop better, live happier & feel your MF best.

I was super into the arts and humanitarians in high school.

English. History. Psych. It was my jam.

But science? Anything math related? It was just NOT my jam. Except for Biology.

I was so fascinated by the ways our bodies worked and I related to it because it felt applicable to me — ya know, ‘cause I have a body.

So when I started learning more about nutrition in my journey to becoming a health coach, I became FASCINATED by the gut.

Gut health has become a super trendy topic as of late — you know, all those fancy yogurts and kombucha supporting that gut health all the wayyyy. Right?

But supporting our gut health is SO MUCH MORE than having a kombucha every day…(which for the record, I don’t recommend). And having a healthy gut is KEY to having a healthy body…and here’s why…

The gut is largely responsible for putting our body into working order.

As our food gets broken down, the microbiome (aka the bacteria in our gut) absorb the nutrients from the food which, in turn, supports things like hormone balance, mental health, healthy waste elimination (aka GOOD POOPS) & even skin health.

The craziest thing that totally blew my mind?

The gut and the brain are directly connected.

Which, in turn, means the food you’re ingesting and being absorbed by the gut impact your mental health/anxiety in profound ways.

How do you know if your gut needs some extra love? Here are some symptoms you may be experiencing…

• Anxiety - Around 80% of serotonin, the neurotransmitter that impacts mood, sleep, social behavior etc is produced in the gut. So when the gut isn’t healthy, you’re getting less serotonin, which can negatively impact your mood.

• IBS/ bowel movement issues — these have been directly linked to an imbalance of the microbiome

• Exhaustion/Brain fog - this is also linked to lack of seratonin, as having lower levels of it can cause insomnia or trouble sleeping

• Acne or skin issues — the main cause for acne/rashes is an imbalance in the gut

• Cravings — if there’s an overgrowth of yeast in the system, you can crave more sugar

If you’re like AHHHHH I HAVE ALL OF THESE or even SOME of these, then GIRLFRIEND, you can do something about it right fucking now.

The microbiome in our gut can be reset in as little as 3 days. Isn’t that incredible? Which means with some mindful practices, we can take agency over our health, mind body and soul.

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BEST WAYS TO SUPPORT GUT HEALTH

QUICK RESET & GUT OVERHAUL

I’m not a proponent for quick fixes in life. Especially when it comes to our health. But sometimes, our body needs a reset to be able to give us a healthy base to launch into new shifts.

And that’s why I love the 3 day refresh. A 3 day plant based gut detox which focuses on eating real foods & supporting your gut health through supplements.

I’ve rocked this particular program three times now (about once per year) and every time I do it, I’m astounded by my results. And this time was no exception.

I weighed myself out of sheer curiosity and I’m down 7.6 lbs (my husband who also rocked it alongside with me this time was down 7 lbs) and we both have maintained that loss a week later.

I’m feeling SO energized and refreshed in a way I haven’t felt in months — YASS GUT HEALTH.

WINS?

• bloating GONE

• slept better than I have in months 

• feeling so lean 

• brain alert and focused 

• poops are on point

• eczema cleared up

SPEEDBUMPS

• felt a little hungry the last night of the 3 days but tea helped 

• my energy was lower overall through the 3 days but it’s back tenfold  

I am so glad I dove into this even when I felt like I didn’t “have the time” for it. And I’m so proud of my LYFYL wellness community for rocking it out too, especially my 2 gals who did it while traveling for work. MF ROCKSTARS and proof that you CAN put yourself first no matter what season of life you’re in. And if you’re looking for a quick way to shift your body’s composition, this is 100% what I would recommend.

EAT MORE VEGETABLES

Big ol’ duh, I know. But seriously, gut check yourself (ha, see what I did there?) and check in with how many vegetables a day you’re actually getting in. They are the best way to add more healthy nutrients in your day to support gut health.

EAT HIGH FIBER FOODS

Fiber doesn’t get digested in the body until it gets to the gut (which stimulates bacteria growth!) so it’s the healthiest thing you can ingest. Some of my favorite high fiber foods include: raspberries, broccoli, chickpeas, artichokes, lentils.

TAKE A PROBIOTIC SUPPLEMENT

This can be a bit tricky because many probiotics on the market are actually not beneficial to your gut health at all because the casing they’re encapsulated in aren’t made to withstand the acidity in the stomach and break down before they even make it to the intestines (which is where they are needed to do their job!). I take my probiotic in form of powder in my daily smoothie because I know it has the correct casing (shoot me a message if you want more info!) so whatever you do, just be sure to do your research on which ones you can snag that will actually do the job intended!

And there you have it! GUT HEALTH FOR THE WIN.

Do you have any symptoms listed above? What has been your biggest struggle with gut health?

Let me know in the comments!

Xo Amanda

Living with Anxiety? Yeah, me too.

Anxiety.

The word alone gives me anxiety — and honestly, I’ve been wanting to write a post about this for a long ass time but something has kept holding me back…until today.

Why now?

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I love to pop into my Insta stories on the regular and talk to you guys — pep talks, rants, goofy moments, adorable pup time with Toby and silly dance parties are what you normally can expect, but last week, I was having one of those days (maybe you know the kind) and I brought it up on my stories, asking for help on how to navigate it all.

And I’ve never had SO MUCH response to something I posted in my life. 92% of my followers said they struggled with anxiety too. I knew I wasn’t alone but the amount of “me too” responses I got absolutely blew me away and I knew I couldn’t stay silent about it anymore.

My Story

I've lived with anxiety for the past 5 years. The summer of 2013, an event in my life triggered what I now know to be called a panic attack. At the time, I thought I was literally dying. I was hyperventilating and crying so much that I almost passed out and for the life of me, I couldn’t make it stop.

This was my first experience with anxiety, or at least what I can remember.

And honestly, my first experience with mental health struggles.

My anxiety took a really intense hold over my life for the years following — panic attacks would happen when I least expected, conversations about the simplest things could spur it and I would find myself waking up with a heavy chest that just couldn’t go away, no matter what I did.

I’ve spent the past 5 years navigating my anxiety and building up tools in my tool box that have helped immensely — and what used to be a super common feeling has turned into something that rears its head every one and a while.

Anxiety looks different on everyone. I know women who navigate it from all ends of the spectrum — from women who have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) who are on medication for their anxiety to women who occasionally get anxious about specific circumstances in their lives.

One thing I do know? Most women don’t talk about it.

Which makes us all feel a hell of a lot more alone in all of it, don’t ya think?

It’s my mission to help contribute to the mission to normalize anxiety — ‘cause you are not less than because you experience it, in any capacity. Ya hear me?

What you can do?

I was blown away by the incredible thoughtful response some of my amazing followers on Instagram shared with me, and I wanted to share their thoughts alongside mine. Here they are…

“Breathing mantras and writing!”

“Puppy snuggles” — you laugh but there is scientific proof that petting pups actually lowers your cortisol (aka stress) levels!

“Journaling out my feelings”

“Evening out my breath. So making my inhales 5ish secs and my exhales 5ish secs.”

“Yoga, meditation and journaling is what works for me.”

“Getting enough sleep”

“Painting/being creative in any way.”

“Reading.”

“Big hugs”

“Writing down things I can see, feel. and hear helps ground me.”

“Reminding myself of things that are true.”

“Running and coloring”

How thoughtful are these responses? So many incredible things to sift through and find what works for you.

Here are some of my personal go-tos that have been a total godsend to quiet or rid myself of anxiety:

EXERCISE PAIRED WITH SUPPORT

The minute I feel anxiety creeping up, I know that the best thing I can do is to sweat it out. It works absolute WONDERS, and having a community of women encouraging me and supporting me along the way has been KEY in my journey. We all need spaces that allow us to come exactly as we are and that’s what these groups have been for me.

THROW MYSELF A DANCE PARTY

There is nothing like putting on some of my favorite tunes (lately I’ve been taking it back to some TLC and it’s been pretty fucking incredible) and throwing myself a major dance party.

I know it can feel counter-intuitive in the moment but thrusting your body into something active and physical and unexpected can help jolt you out of your state of anxiety.

GO FOR A WALK

Sometimes something as simple as a shift in environment and getting outside can make all the difference. I actually try to pre-emptively plan for these with my daily mid day walk with my pup — it forces me to get out of the house! If you work a traditional full time gig, take your lunch outside or take the second half of it by going for a walk. Better yet, start your day with a quick walk around the block to wake you up!

REMEMBER — if you are struggling and need someone to talk to, I’m always just a message away my love. I’m no expert on anxiety but I’m always, always here.

Xo Amanda

p.s. I’m hosting an End Overeating & Anxiety for good webinar with my good friend and therapist Rachel Wright later this month and would love to see you there — be sure to hop on my email list and in our Live Your F*ck Yes Life Facebook community to get the deets first!

Why I decided to go off the birth control pill after 12 years

I know this is gonna ruffle a million and one feathers but you know your girl is gonna give it to you straight and this has been a huge part of my wellness journey 

This time last year, I remember sitting in a coffee shop with my friend Jen talking all about the birth control pill. She had decided to go off of it 6 months prior and was sharing her experience with me and it got me thinking ... "why have I been on the pill for so goddamn long?"

I mean OBVIOUSLY to not have a baby.

But the reason I went on the pill in the first place? I was 15 years old and my doctor misdiagnosed me with PCOS and said "here, just take the pill. It'll help your symptoms."

And she was right, it did. And I didn't question it (and hadn't questioned it until recently).

But that conversation got me thinking about how I've been putting synthetic hormones into my body for 12 years of my life without question ('cause ya know, everyone is on the pill, right?) and that I hadn't even thought to question it. 

And the past year, I've been going back and forth about it and out of fear of what would come of change, I never decided to make any shifts...until now. After all of the medical stuff going on with me and the incredible conversation I had with Claire Baker on episode 7 of the podcast and speaking with my doctor, I decided to officially go off of the pill. 

Now I want to preface this by saying this is in NO WAY a "you need to go off the pill" post. YOU are the only person that can make choices for YOUR body (and girlfriend, you 100% know what's best for YOU and where you're at in life), but I've been getting a billion questions about why I made this decision and what I'm doing now for preventative measures. 

So here is MY story based off of my personal findings, speaking with my trusted hormone experts, my doctor and MY BODY.

---

WHY I DECIDED TO GO OFF THE PILL

1. I'm hella health conscious (obviously). And after getting hella into nutrition, the body and how everything works, I realized how VITAL the health of a woman's' endocrine system (aka the collection of glands and organs that produce hormones) is for overall health. And I have been working so hard on implementing habits in my nutrition and day to day life to support this, but not my birth control method? My girl Jess over at Wholly Healed shares ALL about the negative side effects of going on the pill, so if you wanna learn more definitely check her out. 

2. When I found out I was BRCA 1 positive earlier this year, I was hell bent on doing everything in my power to arm myself with everything I could to prevent myself from getting breast or ovarian cancer. And I knew that certain pills have been associated with raising risks of getting breast cancer and I was NOT fucking around with that.

*what I didn't know? Being on certain BC pills like the one I was on (ortho trinessa or ortho tricyclen low) for upwards of 5 years can actually REDUCE your likelihood of developing ovarian cancer so that was a major WIN for me and my doctor. 

3. My gynaecologist recommended I make the switch. While I was pretty convinced through my own personal readings and speaking with hormone health experts, I also wanted to hear the input from my doctor and she gave me the green light immediately. 

OK SO I WANNA GO OFF THE PILL, BUT I DON'T WANT BABIES!! HALP!!!

I hear ya. Kev and I are NOT ready for babies anytime soon, so when we were looking for another option, we knew we still needed to have a form of birth control going .

Here are other some options other than the pill to consider:

Paraguard IUD  - this is the option I opted with for a few reasons.  

• It's over 99% effective in preventing pregnancy, making it one of the most effective forms of birth control available. This is hugely important to us because if and when we do decide to have kids, we have committed to going through the IVF process so we can screen the embryos for the BRCA gene. 
• It is hormone FREE. So your body goes through the ovulation process as it naturally would but the Copper IUD disrupts sperm motility and damages sperm so they can't join with an egg. Fun fact that I didn't know? Copper actually acts as a spermicide within the uterus, increasing levels of copper ions, prostaglandins, and white blood cells within the uterine and tubal fluids. Fun science facts for ya! 
• It is good for up to 10 years and can be removed at any time.

Condoms - also a great option! 

Withdrawl...not so fun but if you're in a relationship or sex isn't on the table, there ya go! 

Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) -- if you want to learn more about this, I highly recommend the book Taking Control of Your Fertility 

HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW ABOUT YOUR DECISION?

So far, I am OVER THE MOON about it.

I stopped taking the pill and transitioned to the Paraguard 2 weeks ago, so I've yet to experience a full cycle (and have yet to see if my period is going to return right away -- I know quite a few women who waited a year for their period to return) so I will definitely do a follow up post in a few months but so far, it's been great.

The process of inserting the IUD? It sucked. Majorly. And I experienced pretty awful cramping the rest of the day. The heating pad, aleve, netflix and my pup Toby were my best friends that day -- so DEFINITELY do not go into work after you get it inserted. SERIOUSLY. 

But less than 24 hours later later and after a nights sleep, I felt good as new.

I've been following the My Flo app to track my cycle and so far it's been pretty on track! No spotting, weird cramping or anything like that.

And just knowing that I've taken action about this has taken a huge weight off of my chest.

So there ya have it!

As always, you know I'm an open book so if you have any questions, pop 'em in the comments below! 

And I'm curious -- what form of birth control do you use? 

Xo Cheers to living our f*ck yes lives,

Amanda

20 things you should start doing so you won't regret your twenties

My twenties so far have been anything but seamless, and I'm betting you can relate.

And for so many years, I just chalked it up to what everyone and their mother said: 

"your twenties are your crazy years, everything changes at thirty."

And so for the first 5 years of my twenties, you better believe I lived up to that ('cause I was given hella permission to do so) -- you know the pattern...get up, go to work for jobs that suck the life out of you, say yes to all the parties/events because you're afraid you'll be missing out if you don't, spend so much time trying to look like some magazine's definition of what an "ideal woman" should look like, which of course leds us to years of binging and over exercising until our inevitable quarter life crisis break down ensues...

Or at least, that was my story.

Can you relate?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about spending your twenties to figure out who you are and what you want (and along the way, you can bet it's gonna be messy AF), but why do we have to hit rock bottom for us to wake the fuck up and make a change?

What if we could equip ourselves with tools that allowed us to do the inner work, the REAL work, so that come our thirties, we had already started to put into place some intentional habits that were in line with how we wanted to feel & show up in the world. 

Habits that are deeply rooted in our VALUES. 

My hope is that by sharing what I wish I had known, you can avoid having your own burnout broken quarter life crisis that takes years of work to undo. 

Here we go.

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD START DOING SO YOU WON'T REGRET YOUR TWENTIES

1. Wake up early. If this gal can become a morning person, so can you. 

2. Get into a regular exercise routine. You don't need to go crazy at the gym or kill yourself at a spin class on the regular, but 30 minutes of moving your body a day is so important for your health. 

3. Cut out processed foods (FO REAL YO) and focus on simple REAL foods. Check out my FREE BUSY BABES GUIDE TO HEALTHY LIVING e-book to learn how to get started!

4. Have the courage to say YES to the things that excite you.

5. Have the courage to say NO to the things that aren’t aligned with your values.

6. Explore and discover what your true values ARE (don't know where to start? Check out this post) 

7. Say buh bye to the friendships that don’t serve you — you know who they are. 

8. Read books — here’s a great place to get started!

9. Take yourself on soul dates.

10. Tell the truth and expect it in return.

11. Break free from the typical “adulting” day to day life and add more freaking PLAY into your day. 

12. Create a budget and start putting a little money aside into a savings fund NOW. 

13. Trade in blackout party nights for a glass of wine or kombucha with a gal pal and inspiring and goofy conversations 

14. Create self care rituals that you do on a daily or weekly basis. Some of my faves? Check 'em out here. 

15. TRAVEL more -- it doesn't have to be to faraway exotic cultures (although those are awesome too), but even a simple road trip 2 hours away for a weekend in the woods can do your soul some GOOD. 

16. Do something that scares you every single day. Apply to that dream job. Ask the guy out. Try that move in yoga. It won't only get you one step closer to the life you want, but your confidence will grow in the process too -- double win!

17. Get in touch with your body and your womanhood. For more information, listen to episode 7 of the podcast with Claire Baker.  

18. Start administering self breast exams. But FOR REAL. 1 out of 8 women will develop breast cancer over their life time. 1 out of 8! This is clearly on the front of mind for me right now but I was always told by my doctors to rock out self exams on my own and never did because I always thought "that won't happen to me".   

19. Start journaling. Whether it's through journal prompts or using the "brain dump" method and just spewing your thoughts on paper, it can be such a powerful way to actually get to know yourself, your emotions and your dreams.

20. Practice self compassion. You are learning. You are growing. And while it may feel like you so often don't get it "right", or that you haven't "arrived", remember that this journey is a beautiful rollercoaster (and so often one we cannot control), but what we can control is the way we speak to ourselves and treat ourselves along the way. 

You've got this, babe.

Let's push the habits that aren't serving us to the curb and start implementing one or even two of these practices in our lives.

Which one are YOU going to start with first? 

Xo Amanda

Facing Fear Head On: A 20 somethings journey of being BRCA positive

FEAR.

For so much of my life, I let fear steer the wheel. 

I quit ballet after my first class because 3 girls made fun of me and I was scared nobody would be my friend.

I didn't ask the boy out because I was terrified he'd reject me and not think I was pretty enough.

I dieted and dieted in fear that I wouldn't be cast in shows because I wouldn't be "skinny enough".

Can you relate? 

The past 2 years of my life, I've been on an intense journey of self discovery and a huge part of that was facing fear head on.

I faced it head on when I broke the diet cycle once and for all, and healed my relationship with food and fitness.

I faced it head on when I decided to pay everything I've learned forward and become a health coach and join a tribe of incredible women changing the freaking world. 

I faced it head on when I took a good hard look at my debt, made a plan and in less than a year, paid off all my credit card debt. 

I faced it head on when I went shirtless on stage for the first time in my life and faced all the body love demons that had been a part of my life for so damn long. 

And heading into this year, I knew that it was time to face a fear I've been living with for a very long time. 

MY STORY 

When my dad was 18, his mum died of breast cancer at the age of 44. 

And growing up, I've seen how that loss took such a toll on him. I mean, losing a parent at all let alone at 18 years old is awful -- and something that I'm so grateful to say I've not had to go through myself. Because goddamn, my parents are my best friends and that's something even just thinking about breaks my fucking heart.

And all my life, I've had this little fear living at the back of my mind that I would have the same fate as my grandma. Call it intuition, call it gut, call it fear, it was super present in my world since I was old enough to understand it.

And that fear came to an all time high during my Sophomore year of college when my Dad got tested for the BRCA gene mutations (more info on all of this and real time reactions on episode 6 of the Live Your F*ck Yes Life Podcast) and found out that he was a carrier of the gene (and the only one of his siblings who is).

At the time, I didn't fully understand what that meant,  beyond the fact that I had a 50/50 chance of getting it, and honestly fear took over every ounce of me that I didn't want to know. I was 20 and the way I felt at the time was that knowing would just make it harder.

So I decided not to find out...until this year.

And you know what? Looking back, I'm grateful I waited.

Grateful because at the time, I was going through SO much internally that I think the information I knew deep down was true -- the fact that I also am BRCA 1 positive -- would have broken me in half.

Now, I'm 27, and while I'm still so young, I've lived a lot of life.

Hell, in the last 4 years alone, I've dealt with a binge eating disorder, orthorexia, planned a wedding, dealt with sudden onset anxiety, bought our first house, started my business, moved out of said home and lived in hotels for 6 months because of water damage, navigated job shifts and health issues with my hubby, started a podcast and beyond. 

And that's not counting all the odd jobs, shows, teaching gigs, travels, mentoring and everything else in my life. 

And while so much of it has been incredibly fulfilling and invigorating, a lot of my life has been filled with obstacle after obstacle -- as I'm sure yours has been too, because hey, that's what being a freaking human being is all about, right?

And while, at the time, those obstacles have felt INSURMOUNTABLE, here I am (and here you are) on the other side of it all, STRONGER for it and more self aware than ever. 

And I sit here, grateful for it all, because it gave me the courage to stop waiting.

To show up as a warrior in my life and put the worries to rest.

So yes, I am a woman living with the BRCA 1 gene.

I don't have cancer, yet. But the chance of me getting breast or ovarian cancer is high AF.

And while that in and of itself scares the SHIT out of me, I've never felt more empowered. Because I get to do something about it.

I don't know what that is yet, but you know I'll be sharing it all along the way, mess and all, 'cause that's how I freaking roll. 

And I'm so goddamn grateful to have you along for the ride.

Xo Amanda 

p.s. if you aren't in our Live Your F*ck Yes Life Community, come on over and join the convo. We're all in this together babe.

Self Love Isn't What You Think It Is

I used to think self love meant "treat yoself".

You know... have a bad day? Get a cupcake. Rough day at work? Go shopping. Feel like total shit and all you wanna do is curl up in bed? Netflix, chill, and probably a bubble bath thrown in the mix.

Now don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for all of the above, but the past few years I've been on a major journey to self love and I realized how wrong I had it for so many years.

Thank you social media for totally messing this shiz up for everyone -- I mean the hashtags #selflove and #selfcare could be such a powerful tool if we actually applied self love in the way its intended! And maybe, just maybe, more woman would learn to actually love themselves.

So...what is the secret to self love you ask?

From my own personal journey, I've found that it rarely has anything to do with the things that are affecting us from the outside in...it's all about the work that you're doing from the inside out.

Here's a self love checklist I made to show you some examples of what I mean...

In other words, are you showing up for yourself every single day and doing the WORK to help you combat your insecurities, negativity, frustrations & anxieties?

Or do you find that you gravitate towards the numbing activities that allow your brain to just shut off because you're so damn tired?

If you're like 95% of the world, you probably find yourself answering YES to the latter most days. And I just want you to know that it's 100% NORMAL. I was there too for YEARS (and some days all I wanna do is numb the fuck out on the latest episode of the Bachelor and turn my brain off). And there's nothing WRONG with that. Hell, society tells us those are the right things to do...so how should you know any better?

Well, that's why I'm here.

Because I've lived on both ends of the spectrum.

I spent years numbing myself on treat yo-self actions because I was just so damn tired, anxious and irritable. And yeah, I'd feel better for a few minutes or maybe a few hours. But I was lightyears away from actually loving myself & being proud of the person I was on the inside.

 And after practicing all of those self love actions (some daily, some weekly, some when I feel like it) for the past 2 years, I can honestly say that I actually know what self love is, because I feel it every damn day.

Now, I'll be the first to say this did not happen overnight. Not even close. It took daily inspired action to make these shifts. And a lot of it did not come easily to me, but if you're struggling with loving yourself in any way, I can promise you that if you dedicate yourself to putting some or many of these self love tools into action every single day, you will start to see a shift in you that you never imagined possible.

---

SELF LOVE TOOLS

1. Positive Self Talk

What are you saying to yourself? Do you use positive words when you're speaking about yourself? Or do you find yourself saying things like: "Man, I look gross today.", "Why can't I be prettier?" or "I'm never going to get that promotion."

It's a tough switch to flip but get curious about what you're actually saying to yourself and when you notice a negative thought, try one of these things to shift your mindset:

• When you look in the mirror, focus on what you DO love, not what you don't.
• Do something that makes you feel on freaking fire. Rock a workout. Throw yourself a dance party. Get out of your head and into you body!
• Quit the comparison game. I know you do it. We all do. If you are following people on social media that trigger you, stop following them. Or better yet, remember that you don't know their story or how they got themselves to look the way they do. Celebrate your own personal victories and remember that we're all on our journeys -- and where you are right now is exactly where you're supposed to be.

2. Moving Your Body At The Pleasure of Your Soul

Believe it or not, this is more of mindset shift than anything but when you're working out, do you do it because you're hell bent on CHANGING your body or because you APPRECIATE your body?

I came from a place of obsession because I hated my body for years, but the second I found programs that actually made me excited to push play & I ditched the scale and focused on how I was feeling, I started actually moving my body every day because it got me one step closer to feeling my most energized and confident self. 

So find a program that lights you up, and find a supportive community to embark on the positive journey with. 

3. Fueling your body with healthy foods

This one is a no brainer. 

Are you putting foods that will help you body work and thrive at its peak? Or are you eating food that makes you feel like shit?

Show your body some major love by employing the "food is fuel" mantra in your life. 

4. Journaling

The first step to loving yourself is knowing yourself. I mean, how can you love a person you hardly know? It might sound crazy that you could be living as yourself and not really know yourself, but I've had SO many clients (myself included) share with me that when they started the process of journaling, they discovered SO many things about themselves.

HOW? Because they asked themselves questions they had never thought to ask. And they answered TRUTHFULLY.

Were all those answers things they liked hearing? Hell no. There are aspects of all of us that we don't like -- but once we really understand what those things are, we can take action on shifting those areas in our lives and adopting the tools to rise up into the best versions of ourselves.

Don't know where to start on the journaling front? This month we're rocking out a book alllll around journaling, so join our community here and dive on in with us! 

5. Personal Development

Yup. I'm talking all things self help. 

Think it's crazy? Read this post all about how my mind TOTALLY shifted on this topic -- and grab one of the books I recommend to get started! 

6. Meditation

Whatever floats your boat in this world (guided meditations, sitting and breathing in silence or hell, even just allowing yourself some quiet time away from any electronics or distractions), creating space in your life for SILENCE allows your body, mind and soul reset.

It gives you SPACE to just be. As you are. Whatever that may look like. 

I use meditation as a daily tool to start my day with a clean slate or even to calm myself during stressful or emotionally taxing situations (which, let's face it, we all have them).

It's not about being perfect, it's about finding a practice that works for you! 

7. Setting boundaries

Do you constantly find yourself saying YES to things that don't light you up? You over-extend yourself on the regular. Always trying to do anything and everything for the people around you but rarely spend any time on yourself?

While having a servants heart is a beautiful thing (and one I resonate with), it can be so taxing to constantly be saying yes to things. Before you know it, you burn out on all the things and have completely thrown your self care out the window because, you guessed it, by saying YES to something, you're saying NO to something else in your life.

So the next time your friend asks you to go out on a Friday night and all you want to do is go to a yoga class, come home, light some candles, take a bath and go to bed early with a good book, this is your official permission slip to say no.

SELF LOVE? IT'S ABOUT MAKING YOURSELF A PRIORITY SO YOU CAN FILL YOUR CUP UP AND POUR ALL THE GOODNESS INTO THE CUPS OF THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND YOU.

Which self love exercise are you going to start implementing into your life?

Share in the comments!

Xo Amanda 

Top 5 Things My Dog Has Taught Me

The past year and a half of my life have been INFINITELY brighter and it's all because of this little (not so little) guy. 

I always knew I was meant to be a dog mom. But after losing my family dog a few years ago, I didn’t know if I had it in my heart to love a pup that much again.

(And to be honest, a few years ago, I was out of the house more than I was in it & living paycheck to paycheck and getting a dog just wouldn’t have been fair.)

But a year after my leap into coaching, so much changed and all of a sudden the idea of owning a dog wasn't out of the question.

And every single day, when I wake up next to your fluffy goofy self and I get to spend so much of my day snuggling, going for walks & playing, I can’t help but be filled with so much damn gratitude.

It's amazing what dogs can teach us -- if you're a dog mama you know! And I'm forever thankful for the daily reminders. 

THE TOP 5 THINGS MY DOG HAS TAUGHT ME

1. PLAY IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD STRIVE FOR, DAILY.

I don't know about you, but past the age of 22, it seemed like everyone and their mother went from play mode to #adulting up the wazoo. 

Don't get me wrong, I totally had the same thing happen to me. I went into "I have to pay all the bills" mode. I picked up 7 different part time jobs and was running myself ragged, frustrated and irritable as all hell. And the LAST thing I made time for in my life was play.

Getting a dog completely fliped that switch -- it's a daily reminder to not take your life so goddamn seriously. To take moments to BE SILLY. Celebrate your goofy-ness. Run in the rain/snow/whatever!! And Toby is just as goofy as me, so it's been a freaking GOOF PARTY over here since he's come into the picture, and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

2. LOVE, LOVE, ALWAYS LOVE.

The best thing about dogs? They love you unconditionally. 

They don't hold grudges. They see you as your BEST every dang day. And the way I see it, we could all take a page from their unconditional love book.

Holding grudges... Being frustrated with others or things...who is that helping?

Certainly not yourself. And while I am ALL about feeling the feels, holding onto frustration about things that are out of your control (I used to be like this ALL the time about traffic) is only hurting yourself, right?

So let's just choose to LOVE. Forgive, so you can release YOURSELF from the burden you're holding onto. Life is too short to live being frustrated and irritable on the daily. 

Toby teaches me the power of LOVE everyday, and I think we can learn a lesson or two from it!

3. SHIT DOESN'T ALWAYS GO THE WAY YOU PLANNED, AND THAT'S OKAY.

Toby may be the best thing in my entire life, but sometimes he can be a royal pain in the ass.

When we first got him, every time we took him driving in the car he got hella car sick. We learned quickly that we always needed to have cleaner and paper towels in the car at all times. #lessonlearned

All my favorite tupperware? If I leave it out (or even in the sink -- yup he's tall), by the time I get home it has been DESTROYED. Invest in glass tupperware, my friends. It's a game changer. 

And sometimes your dog decides to eat an avocado, and you end up canceling all of your plans and spending 4 hours waiting at pet emergency. *cough* Toby *cough*

Please say Toby isn't the only pup out there making all the weird choices with his life...

My point is, shit doesn't go according to plan with a dog all of the time.

And isn't that the way LIFE goes too? Having a dog has helped me EMBRACE the mess, and remember that there are going to be days when shit hits the fan, and that's OK because that's LIFE.

4. BE PRESENT

It's so easy these days with social media and the news to get wrapped up in everything going on, and forget to slow down and appreciate the little things that are right in front of you. And what I love about Toby is he lives for the little things -- literally. Dude is STOKED for a day of cuddles, naps, eating amazing food, play time & belly rubs.

And if that's not a life lesson in and of itself, I don't know what is. 

Stay present. Appreciate the little things, and what's more -- make TIME for the little things.

Cuddle your favorite person. Eat amazing food. Have tickle fights if that's what floats your boat. 

And turn the electronics OFF. You'll be so grateful for those moments once you do. 

5. PARENTING IS HARD AF, BUT WORTH IT. 

As my hubby Kev always says, Toby has been our furry test child, and he's proven just how challenging parenting can be.

Now I'm not saying having a dog is like having a kid, but this is the first time in my life that I've been entirely responsible for something outside of myself. And I'm not just talking the daily and weekly tasks -- feeding him, walking him, playing with him, bathing him etc. But the TOUGH stuff? That shit you can never prepare for? It's can hit you like a ton of bricks. 

July 2017, I was out of town in NOLA with my coaching tribe when I got a call from my husband that he was taking Toby to the emergency room because the vet found a mass in his stomach. My heart DROPPED. You hear the word mass and you immediately think cancer, right? And let's just say, the anxiety attacks and uncontrollable sobbing were real that night. After some tests, he was cleared from anything life threatening and it ended up being an allergy to gluten (yup, this is real you guys -- I had no idea gluten could impact dogs too), but the sheer panic I experienced when I found out he wasn't doing so well broke my heart.

I never expected to bond so much with a dog. To view him as more than just my dog, but as my freaking kid. I would do anything for him, and that means loving him through the vet visits, the destroyed tupperware and his inability to understand personal space.

So there ya have it -- I'm officially a crazy obsessed dog mom and I'm never going back.

Are you a fur mom too? What are some of the favorite things your pet has taught you?

Xo Amanda