28 Lessons from 28 years of life

It’s pretty incredible to look back to see how far you’ve come.

This is my 2nd time doing this since I started the blog (check out last years roundup here) and every year I’m blown away by all the things I’ve taken away.

I spent so many years of my life on automatic pilot, going through the motions and not taking stock in my life. What I was learning, how I was growing. And doing this every year has been such an amazing way to look back and do just that — plus you guys know I LOVE sharing my shiz with you.

So here they are — the mess, the growth, the shifts. I hope they serve as a gorgeous reminder for your own life.

28 lessons from 28 years of life:

1. Success isn’t about the shiny pennies. It’s about getting clear on what’s truly important to you and going after that feeling every day.

2. Boundaries are beautiful. When you set them, you are finally able to say no to things you don’t want so you can say yes to the things you do.

3. The thing that feels like the hardest thing on the planet to do/decide/shift? It’s not. It might suck, and be painful but you’ll get through it.

4. Anxiety is your intuition giving you clues. This was a huge lesson this year (and therapy) has taught me and it’s allowed me to truly learn how to use it as my superpower instead of feeling overwhelmed by it. 

5. Run towards the people and experiences that fill your cup.

6. Trust the gut tugs. This was one of the lessons I didn’t expect to learn and one that has changed so much about the way I navigate life. 

7. A woman’s body is SO complex and something to be celebrated — periods and all. (Read more about my switch from birth control pills to the copper IUD this year) 

8. Vulnerability is strength. Embrace the mess and choose to grow from it.

9. 20 minute workouts can be just as empowering and challenging as an hour boot camp class. Choosing my time wisely in this way has been such a huge part of my journey this year and my old limiting beliefs that left me in the gym for hours always feeling not enough has been BLASTED on a whole new level with the workout program I’m currently rocking. 

10. Put yourself first and foremost. Over EVERYTHING. Because you cannot give to anyone or anything if your tank isn’t full first.

11. That I am a manifesting generator in human design and a 7 on the enneagram (which gave me SOOO much understanding about myself and why I operate the way I do — check out episode 5 of the podcast for more info!)

12. My boobs do not define me as a woman or a sexual being. Period.

13. Belief is the root of every possibility we allow into our lives. 

14. Money doesn’t have to be stressful. We don’t HAVE to live paycheck to paycheck and constantly perpetuate the “I’m broke” cycle and it STARTS with the words we say and the energy we put into the universe. 

15. Allll about my innate privilege and how I can show up in the self development space AND be an advocate for social change.

16. Expectations can’t get met if you don’t express them. Ask for what you want. Express what you need. 

17. Surround yourself with people who have different perspectives and lives than yours. It is the most beautiful way to grow and learn. Don’t know where to start? Follow people online and diversify your feed.

18. Sharing your story, even when you’re going through the damn thing, can be the most rewarding thing you ever do.

19. If you don’t like it, change it. You have the power to shift your thoughts/decisions/the way you show up in the world. So do the damn thing and make the shift. Even if it’s hard. 

20. Change isn’t such a bad thing. I used to be terrified of change but this year has taught me so much about the beauty of leaning into the shifts. Change may be uncomfortable but that discomfort? It’s where all the growth and magic takes place, if you let it.

21. My heart craves adventure. I need it. I thrive off of it. And the more adventure I can have in my life, the more my soul feels filled the fuck up. So move towards what lights you up. 

22. Just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. You already have the answers inside of you. Surround yourself with people who help you get clear on what you really want instead of those who prescribe what they do to you. 

23. Starting your day off with gratitude will change the game. I’ve been doing this for the past 6 months and it truly puts my mindset in the best spot. 

24. Peoples beliefs don’t pay the bills. Do what sets your soul on fire and do so apologetically. Not everyone will get it. But don’t let other peoples thoughts stop you from showing up for what YOU want on YOUR terms.

25. Community is EVERYTHING. Women are hardwired for community and it MF SUCKS when we don’t feel like we have people in our lives who truly get us. Whether you foster and create your own soul sisterhood like I did or join one (you can sit with us!), seek out a group of women that will set your soul on fire and empower you to be better every single day.

26. Be an advocate for your health. One of my biggest takeaways from my BRCA journey this year has been standing up for what I want with my doctors. Ask for what you want. Trust your intuition. And don’t just follow doctors orders because they tell you it’s what’s you have to do. Get second, third and fourth opinions. Do your research. Talk to people who’ve been in your shoes. And stand up for your health, it’s all you’ve got.

27. “What do you need today love?” — a beautiful tool my dear friend Jen Wille shared on episode 21 of the podcast and one that has truly helped me get super acquainted with my innate desires.

28. The key to living your fuck yes life? Getting rid of the “shoulds” and getting clear on what lights you up and moving ALLLLL THE WAY in that direction. Okay? Ok. 

Which ones are you committed to working on this year?

Xo Amanda

Living with Anxiety? Yeah, me too.

Anxiety.

The word alone gives me anxiety — and honestly, I’ve been wanting to write a post about this for a long ass time but something has kept holding me back…until today.

Why now?

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I love to pop into my Insta stories on the regular and talk to you guys — pep talks, rants, goofy moments, adorable pup time with Toby and silly dance parties are what you normally can expect, but last week, I was having one of those days (maybe you know the kind) and I brought it up on my stories, asking for help on how to navigate it all.

And I’ve never had SO MUCH response to something I posted in my life. 92% of my followers said they struggled with anxiety too. I knew I wasn’t alone but the amount of “me too” responses I got absolutely blew me away and I knew I couldn’t stay silent about it anymore.

My Story

I've lived with anxiety for the past 5 years. The summer of 2013, an event in my life triggered what I now know to be called a panic attack. At the time, I thought I was literally dying. I was hyperventilating and crying so much that I almost passed out and for the life of me, I couldn’t make it stop.

This was my first experience with anxiety, or at least what I can remember.

And honestly, my first experience with mental health struggles.

My anxiety took a really intense hold over my life for the years following — panic attacks would happen when I least expected, conversations about the simplest things could spur it and I would find myself waking up with a heavy chest that just couldn’t go away, no matter what I did.

I’ve spent the past 5 years navigating my anxiety and building up tools in my tool box that have helped immensely — and what used to be a super common feeling has turned into something that rears its head every one and a while.

Anxiety looks different on everyone. I know women who navigate it from all ends of the spectrum — from women who have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) who are on medication for their anxiety to women who occasionally get anxious about specific circumstances in their lives.

One thing I do know? Most women don’t talk about it.

Which makes us all feel a hell of a lot more alone in all of it, don’t ya think?

It’s my mission to help contribute to the mission to normalize anxiety — ‘cause you are not less than because you experience it, in any capacity. Ya hear me?

What you can do?

I was blown away by the incredible thoughtful response some of my amazing followers on Instagram shared with me, and I wanted to share their thoughts alongside mine. Here they are…

“Breathing mantras and writing!”

“Puppy snuggles” — you laugh but there is scientific proof that petting pups actually lowers your cortisol (aka stress) levels!

“Journaling out my feelings”

“Evening out my breath. So making my inhales 5ish secs and my exhales 5ish secs.”

“Yoga, meditation and journaling is what works for me.”

“Getting enough sleep”

“Painting/being creative in any way.”

“Reading.”

“Big hugs”

“Writing down things I can see, feel. and hear helps ground me.”

“Reminding myself of things that are true.”

“Running and coloring”

How thoughtful are these responses? So many incredible things to sift through and find what works for you.

Here are some of my personal go-tos that have been a total godsend to quiet or rid myself of anxiety:

EXERCISE PAIRED WITH SUPPORT

The minute I feel anxiety creeping up, I know that the best thing I can do is to sweat it out. It works absolute WONDERS, and having a community of women encouraging me and supporting me along the way has been KEY in my journey. We all need spaces that allow us to come exactly as we are and that’s what these groups have been for me.

THROW MYSELF A DANCE PARTY

There is nothing like putting on some of my favorite tunes (lately I’ve been taking it back to some TLC and it’s been pretty fucking incredible) and throwing myself a major dance party.

I know it can feel counter-intuitive in the moment but thrusting your body into something active and physical and unexpected can help jolt you out of your state of anxiety.

GO FOR A WALK

Sometimes something as simple as a shift in environment and getting outside can make all the difference. I actually try to pre-emptively plan for these with my daily mid day walk with my pup — it forces me to get out of the house! If you work a traditional full time gig, take your lunch outside or take the second half of it by going for a walk. Better yet, start your day with a quick walk around the block to wake you up!

REMEMBER — if you are struggling and need someone to talk to, I’m always just a message away my love. I’m no expert on anxiety but I’m always, always here.

Xo Amanda

p.s. I’m hosting an End Overeating & Anxiety for good webinar with my good friend and therapist Rachel Wright later this month and would love to see you there — be sure to hop on my email list and in our Live Your F*ck Yes Life Facebook community to get the deets first!

Why I don't believe in "falling off the wagon" and why health isn't all about getting banging ass results

I failed.

Or at least by all standards of the fitness industry, I failed.

The past 7 weeks, I've been rocking my latest fitness adventure -- a strength training and HIIT program. I've been working out 4 days a week, rocking my rest days like nobody's business and continuing to adopt my food freedom program principles.

You'd THINK that I would have seen these INSANE results -- AB CHECK HERE, am I right? 

We're all programmed to believe that we will dive into a fitness program and that by the end of it, we're going to be RIPPED. That we're going to shed the weight, get that six pack we've always dreamed of and we'll finally be able to zip up those jeans from high school we've been holding in the back of our closet for 10 years...

I know I used to believe that with every fibre of my being. 

And when I didn't see results right away, I sabotaged myself and deep dove into my binge eating spiral and would put on 10-20 lbs in a month.

That cycle plagued me for YEARS, until I changed up my fitness regime. Started rocking programs that actually worked and gave me long lasting results.

And all of a sudden, I actually FELT HAPPY. Not just because I lost a few dress sizes, but because I FELT STRONG. I felt active and alive and energized in a way I hadn't in years.

And for the past 3 years, I've continued to feel that way. Trying out new programs, feeling like a MF athlete and badass...until this program.

'Cause you see...I've been rocking this strength training program and as I head into my final week of it, I've seen no weight loss or physical external shifts. In fact, the physical shifts I have seen have been me feeling fluffy and bloated.

And you know I'm always going to keep it REAL AF with you babes, and my truth right now is that I've spent the last couple of weeks feeling like a total and utter FAILURE. Because your girl is as health coach, right? So if I can't walk the walk, how am I supposed to inspire and empower my clients and future clients to do so as well...right?

WRONG.

While you may not see any badass results from this, what you also don't see is everything else I've been navigating this summer. 

The past couple of months, I’ve been dealing with some intense shifts hormonally that have caused my body to feel out of whack.

2 months ago, I transitioned off of birth control pills to the copper IUD. I originally did so in April but my body literally rejected the IUD and I had to get it removed and a new one inserted (which, let me tell ya, is NO FUN). Luckily, the IUD stuck this time around, but my body has responded SUPER differently to this one. The first time around in April, I had no bleeding and no seemingly different experiences beyond my shifts in mood depending on where I was at in my cycle.

But this time, my bleeding has been incredibly different — I bled right after the initial insertion more than I ever have in my entire life. And since early July, I’ve had continued intermittent spotting and periods every other week.  

And the past few weeks, my body has been intermittently bloated AF in ways I’ve never experienced before (for all you gals who have dealt with this for years I FINALLY UNDERSTAND) and it’s been super uncomfortable.

I look in the mirror and that voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm not good enough, and I should just eat an entire box of donuts has been getting louder and louder...all because my BODY doesn't look the way I EXPECTED it to or the way SOCIETY TELLS ME IT SHOULD after finishing a workout program? 

I call bullshit.

I mean, I am ALL about celebrating different shapes and sizes and finding STRENGTH from the inside out, not about looking a certain way — and this gal? THIS IS ME TODAY.

The bright, energetic, sensitive, silly, playful, dedicated, focused, harry potter obsessed dog mama multi-passionate entrepreneur goofball who also happens to be bloated right now.

And she is JUST as worthy bloated as she is when she’s not. 

She's just as worthy when she's kicking ass with her workout program or moving slower and working out less.

She's just as worthy when she's eating a delicious pot of zoodles than when she's eating a MF cookie.

Our health and fitness journeys ARE FAR FROM LINEAR. Nor should they be.

And to expect our lives to constantly be moving that direction is unrealistic. Shit happens. We travel. We go into a crazy busy period at work. A loved one dies. We plan weddings. We enter new relationships that turn our worlds upside down. 

We accept that these things are part of life and that it's OK, but we have such a tough time acknowledging that it's also okay to have a fluctuating body?

LET'S GIVE OURSELVES SOME MOTHER FUCKING GRACE ALREADY and RID OURSELVES OF THE "FALLING OFF THE WAGON" BS WE'VE BEEN SPEWING TO OURSELVES FOR YEARS.

You are worthy just as you are right now my love.

And no matter where that is, all you can do is show up with grace, kindness and do the shit that makes you FEEL ALIVE and ENERGIZED AF.

Xo Your no BS soul sistah,

Amanda 

20 things you should start doing so you won't regret your twenties

My twenties so far have been anything but seamless, and I'm betting you can relate.

And for so many years, I just chalked it up to what everyone and their mother said: 

"your twenties are your crazy years, everything changes at thirty."

And so for the first 5 years of my twenties, you better believe I lived up to that ('cause I was given hella permission to do so) -- you know the pattern...get up, go to work for jobs that suck the life out of you, say yes to all the parties/events because you're afraid you'll be missing out if you don't, spend so much time trying to look like some magazine's definition of what an "ideal woman" should look like, which of course leds us to years of binging and over exercising until our inevitable quarter life crisis break down ensues...

Or at least, that was my story.

Can you relate?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about spending your twenties to figure out who you are and what you want (and along the way, you can bet it's gonna be messy AF), but why do we have to hit rock bottom for us to wake the fuck up and make a change?

What if we could equip ourselves with tools that allowed us to do the inner work, the REAL work, so that come our thirties, we had already started to put into place some intentional habits that were in line with how we wanted to feel & show up in the world. 

Habits that are deeply rooted in our VALUES. 

My hope is that by sharing what I wish I had known, you can avoid having your own burnout broken quarter life crisis that takes years of work to undo. 

Here we go.

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD START DOING SO YOU WON'T REGRET YOUR TWENTIES

1. Wake up early. If this gal can become a morning person, so can you. 

2. Get into a regular exercise routine. You don't need to go crazy at the gym or kill yourself at a spin class on the regular, but 30 minutes of moving your body a day is so important for your health. 

3. Cut out processed foods (FO REAL YO) and focus on simple REAL foods. Check out my FREE BUSY BABES GUIDE TO HEALTHY LIVING e-book to learn how to get started!

4. Have the courage to say YES to the things that excite you.

5. Have the courage to say NO to the things that aren’t aligned with your values.

6. Explore and discover what your true values ARE (don't know where to start? Check out this post) 

7. Say buh bye to the friendships that don’t serve you — you know who they are. 

8. Read books — here’s a great place to get started!

9. Take yourself on soul dates.

10. Tell the truth and expect it in return.

11. Break free from the typical “adulting” day to day life and add more freaking PLAY into your day. 

12. Create a budget and start putting a little money aside into a savings fund NOW. 

13. Trade in blackout party nights for a glass of wine or kombucha with a gal pal and inspiring and goofy conversations 

14. Create self care rituals that you do on a daily or weekly basis. Some of my faves? Check 'em out here. 

15. TRAVEL more -- it doesn't have to be to faraway exotic cultures (although those are awesome too), but even a simple road trip 2 hours away for a weekend in the woods can do your soul some GOOD. 

16. Do something that scares you every single day. Apply to that dream job. Ask the guy out. Try that move in yoga. It won't only get you one step closer to the life you want, but your confidence will grow in the process too -- double win!

17. Get in touch with your body and your womanhood. For more information, listen to episode 7 of the podcast with Claire Baker.  

18. Start administering self breast exams. But FOR REAL. 1 out of 8 women will develop breast cancer over their life time. 1 out of 8! This is clearly on the front of mind for me right now but I was always told by my doctors to rock out self exams on my own and never did because I always thought "that won't happen to me".   

19. Start journaling. Whether it's through journal prompts or using the "brain dump" method and just spewing your thoughts on paper, it can be such a powerful way to actually get to know yourself, your emotions and your dreams.

20. Practice self compassion. You are learning. You are growing. And while it may feel like you so often don't get it "right", or that you haven't "arrived", remember that this journey is a beautiful rollercoaster (and so often one we cannot control), but what we can control is the way we speak to ourselves and treat ourselves along the way. 

You've got this, babe.

Let's push the habits that aren't serving us to the curb and start implementing one or even two of these practices in our lives.

Which one are YOU going to start with first? 

Xo Amanda

The One Decision That Changed My Life (New Orleans Recap!)

A couple of weeks ago, I spent the weekend in New Orleans for our annual coach summit with my amazeballs tribe, Inspire Joy. This was my second time coming to this event and this time around, I really felt like I was HOME. I laughed, I cried, I learned, I was inspired but most of all, I was re-ignited.

So first up -- WHAT THE HELL IS SUMMIT ANYWAYS?

For almost 2 years, I’ve been a health and fitness coach with Team Beachbody, the company that makes the amazing at home programs like 21 Day Fix, PiYo, and Insanity. I run virtual accountability groups for women who want to ditch the diet and find joy in fitness, and I also mentor a team of almost 100 women who have decided to pay their passion of health & fitness forward and earn extra income by becoming coaches themselves.

The reason why I LOVE Beachbody is that it’s mission is focused on transformation from the inside out in every aspect of your life -- your mental/emotional/physical health, your finances, self confidence, mindset and so much more! The more I coach, the more I fall in love with it and am endlessly proud to be a part of such a beautiful, values driven and integrity based company!

I am also obsessed with my team, Inspire Joy. We’re a group of goofy, creative go getters who freaking LOVE quality time together, and we spend sooo much of the year working together virtually that trips like this are seriously AMAZEBALLS.

 

NOLA ADVENTURES

My flight was delayed THREE HOURS flying out of Chicago because of a silly rain storm (CAMAAAN) but luckily some of my team was also delayed so we got to hang together :) Once we finally got to the city, we drove to our Airbnb and got ready for TEAM TACO NIGHT! 

On Thursday, I got up with my gals Jess & Laura and we got our sweat on to our latest program we’re rocking out together and had a relaxing morning hanging out before heading to our first personal development event -- the Power of I Am! This event was amaaazing -- learned so much from incredible leaders & got to hear from Cara Alwill Leyba, the author of The Champagne Diet and Girl Code.

Afterwards, we got beignets at Cafe du Monde ('cause DUH) and later that night, we had our huge opening ceremony at the Superdome! 

Imagine being in a stadium surrounded by 20,000 of the most ambitous, positive, driven, self aware people you know. I get giddy just thinking about it again! IT WAS SERIOUSLY SO EMPOWERING.

Friday, I got up SUPER early for a live workout with the infamous Shaun T (yes he is just attractive in real life and MOTIVATIONAL AF) and holy balls, it was tough. I had had a really emotional night the night before -- continue reading to learn why -- so I neeeeded this sweat sesh so bad. #therapy for real. And it was so empowering to sweat alongside of so many people I admire and look up to. 

Then it was a full day of workshops followed by a super wonderful dinner in the French quarter and a night on the town on Bourbon street ;) We kept it classy but we DEF had fun haha. 

Saturday was our last full day -- filled with more sessions and we closed out the trip  with our huge Celebration at the Superdome. It’s like a giant broadway show meets the Oscars meets Cirque du Soleil. And you get to be there up close and personal. Freaking EPIC.

WHAT I LEARNED:

+ IT’S TIME I FREAKING BELIEVE IN MYSELF

Last year, when I came to summit, I had a DREAM. A VISION. A life filled with freedom, travel, purpose, goofy-ness and LIGHT. But it was just that : A dream. Something that felt so freaking far away. 

I mean, I had just started coaching 8 months prior, and was still working 7 different part time jobs, and while I had started to become a more positive and healthy version of myself, I still had a shiz ton of work to do on my self esteem and belief. 

And last year, I came on this trip dreaming of FREEDOM. Of having a tribe of MY gals by my side.

And this year? That dream turned into my reality and it's all because of these incredible women.

Because these gals believed in my dream too. 

They saw what I was doing and said to themselves "I wanna do that too" and they ACTED on it. 

They stepped up to their life to pursue THEIR dreams. To change THEIR lives. And in turn, they've completely transformed mine.

And seeing them there, it hit me like a ton of bricks -- I did what I set out to do. I made my dreams freaking happen. 

It’s so easy in the day to day to get soo wrapped up in what’s not going right or what’s hard that you forget to take in and be grateful for what IS working and this trip put everything in perspective for me :) After all, this journey is FAR from a race -- it's a marathon, and one that I'm IN for the long haul.

+ MY TRIBE IS MY FAMILY

Truth? I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends growing up. 

I never did the whole sorority thing, or really got along in big groups of gals because I just couldn’t handle the gossip and I always felt like I just didn’t fit in. 

I became a coach because I wanted to turn my passion for health and fitness into a side hustle that would give me the FREEDOM to follow my dreams and build a life by design.

What I didn’t realize is that I would be getting a FAMILY. These women inspire me every single day to be a better coach, leader, friend and above all, a better version of me. And it’s been the biggest surprise and the greatest gift along this journey.

When we were in NOLA, I found out that my dog Toby had been rushed to the ER. It was our first night, we had just gotten to our opening night celebration and I was feeling SO full of light, gratitude and giddy-ness and in a single text, all of that felt so far away. I had the first anxiety attack and sob fest I’ve had in a long time sitting on the cement floor of the back of the stadium with one of my coaches and in that moment, I realized how LUCKY I was. To have women in my life (some of which I was just meeting in person for the first time) who I didn’t have to say anything to -- they knew EXACTLY what to do and were supportive in the most incredible ways. Every single one of them was THERE for me. 

I believe that community is everything. 

It was the missing link in my life that I never knew I needed. And now that I have it, I can’t ever imagine going a day in my life without it. 

Every day, I am surrounded by other women JUST LIKE ME. 

Women who are dreamers and want to do MORE with their life. To extend BEYOND the status quo. And through it all, I've been able to RISE UP into my full potential and LIVE A LIFE ON PURPOSE. All because of them. 

+ HOW MUCH MY LIFE HAS CHANGED IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME

As I sat in our sessions and speakers and team dinners and live workouts, I couldn’t help but think about how different things were for me just one year prior. In just 20 short months, my entire life has shifted.

Through coaching I have been able to:

• break free of my binge eating disorder .
• finally stay consistent with my own health and happiness a priority because it's MY JOB to be happy and healthy and fit
• believe in my enoughness
• pay off all my credit card debt and contribute to our finances aka PAY DEM BILLLSSSS! .
•  inspire and empower other women to, bust through their emotional eating habits and rise up to the become the women they KNOW they were put on this earth to be
• travel to new and amazing places
• mentor other women just like me to be able to build a side hustle of their own too, and live life to the fullest.

Here is what I believe:

Community is everything. 

Your HEALTH is everything. 

 And if you aren’t waking up every day and saying FUCK YES my life feels AMAZEBALLS, then it’s time to shift course, girlfriend.

It's never too late to say YASSS to your dreams.

If there was one thing you could do right now to get a step closer to your dreams,

what would it be?

FOR ME?

IT'S RISE THE F*CK UP.

TIME TO STOP PLAYING SMALL AND START STEPPING INTO THE LEADER I KNOW I WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH TO BE.

Ready or not, world. Here I come.

Xo Amanda

p.s. If you want to learn more about joining our team, please reach out and send me a message. I'd love nothing more than to get to know you and tell you more about what we do!