Last week, I went to a doctors appointment that I’ve been putting off for a couple of years out of fear. And the appointment brought up some stuff I’ve been pushing to the side to tackle head on since I found out I had the BRCA 1 gene mutation 3 years ago.

All of you know that having the BRCA 1 mutation is linked to my risk to breast cancer, but what many of you probably don’t know is that it’s also linked to ovarian cancer — which means that if any family planning is involved in my world, it HAS to happen before I turn 35.

I’ve been unpacking this part of my story a lot behind closed doors, but I’ve never done it with all of you so, in true Amanda in the mess fashion, I’m opening the door to this conversation in todays episode.

Things I talk about in todays episode:

how to know if we’re supposed to be a parent
choosing to have kids in the climate we live in
the different tenants of the relationship escalator
how 3 years ago, I went from knowing I wanted kids no matter what to not wanting them overnight
the ethics around having kids with a genetic mutation of this nature
the nuclear family
polyamory, ovarian cancer, the BRCA gene and beyond

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

" There is so much power in sharing the mess along the way too because hello - we are messy humans. We are not this picture perfect wrapped in a present version of ourselves. We are constantly going through it and if we don't believe that there is strength in that, then how can other people feel that it's ok to not have their shit together too?"

When you hear the word strength, what images come up for you?

For so many years, my concept of what it meant to be strong was so skewed, and it wasn't until super recently that everything shifted for me.

Here are a few things I touch on in todays episode:

My plans for the long weekend
Our definitions of strength as a society
Physical strength and why it's so important to me
The summer of 2014, aka the summer of "weakness"
The saga of not enoughness
Social media & its influence on our perceptions of what it means to be strong
The power of vulnerability
The lightbulb moment I had last week

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LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY'S EPISODE

The power of vulnerability

BRCA blog post