fear

Episode #149: Divorce Doesn't Have To Be A Dirty Word

I wasn’t sure that I was going to share this episode today, but it felt right, so here we are. And, in true Amanda fashion, we’re getting wildly vulnerable and moving through the mess on our season finale of the podcast about something so many of you have been wondering for months:

Divorce.

Specifically my divorce.

This episode is messy, because divorce is messy.

This episode is filled with feels, because transitions and grief like this brings up a lot.

This episode also tackles the notion that divorce, de-escalations and breakups don’t have to be (and often rarely are) this cut and dry, black and white, good / bad thing.

Sometimes, divorce is the very thing that sets you free. It is and was for me.

Things Amanda talks about in todays episode:

  • What this episode is not going to be about

  • Boundaries with respect to when / what to share around this chapter

  • The 3 life events that are most disruptive to our nervous system / mental health

  • The difference between a breakup and a de-escalation

  • Leading with love

  • The reason for the divorce had nothing to do with polyamory

  • Being a big feeler, relationship anarchist values, the things she’s been doing to support herself during this time & what’s next


LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Fucking Queer Merch

All About Love by Bell Hooks

Support Amanda - Venmo: @myfuckyeslife


WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon - join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Join her email list for all the important things / future group coaching & teaching announcements

Episode #148: Platonic Intimacy & Why We Really Went On A Break | A Conversation With My Platonic Life Partner Rachel Wright

Today’s episode is one I honestly wasn’t sure would or could ever happen.

If you’ve been around these parts for a while, you will know Rachel Wright not just as the incredible psychotherapist & sex educator, but as one of my dearest friends, collaborators & business partners.

From the moment we met in 2018, we instantly knew we were kindred spirits. Meant to meet. And we spent the next few years being partners in the truest form of the word.

Platonic partners, but partners. We were each others lifeline and person on all things coming out as bi/pan/queer, on all things non monogamy and, truly, just in everything in life.

What you don’t know is that we didn’t talk for almost an entire year.

And today, six months after we began the process of repairing our relationship, we sit down for an extended conversation about what really happened & where we are today — in our relationship, and in our individual selves as queer, non monogamous folks.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • The nitty gritty on the first time we met up after a year long, no contact break

  • The intense grief that comes with losing a friendship & the fear/anxiety around attempting to rekindle it

  • Codependency in platonic relationships

  • Where we are now in our relationship with each other

  • How Rach’s relationship with her three primary partners came to be

  • Where we both stand in our queer & non monogamous identities now

  • Queer crushes, butt plugs, polyamorous breakups, play parties, relationship anarchy & beyond

CONNECT WITH RACHEL:

Rachels Website | Instagram 

Article Rach Wrote Where She Came Out As Polyamorous

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Get all your self pleasure & partnered play vibes with Dame pleasure products — AMANDA10

Sexy safer sex practices for all my vulva ownin’ baddies with My Lorals Undies - AMANDA10

Episode 64: How Fluid Is Sexuality Really

John Romaniello

Episode 142 on Different Relationship Models

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Join her email list for freebies, musings & first dibs on announcements/offers

Episode #136: The No Kids Life Is The Life For Me

Last week, I went to a doctors appointment that I’ve been putting off for a couple of years out of fear. And the appointment brought up some stuff I’ve been pushing to the side to tackle head on since I found out I had the BRCA 1 gene mutation 3 years ago.

All of you know that having the BRCA 1 mutation is linked to my risk to breast cancer, but what many of you probably don’t know is that it’s also linked to ovarian cancer — which means that if any family planning is involved in my world, it HAS to happen before I turn 35.

I’ve been unpacking this part of my story a lot behind closed doors, but I’ve never done it with all of you so, in true Amanda in the mess fashion, I’m opening the door to this conversation in todays episode.

Things I talk about in todays episode:

  • how to know if we’re supposed to be a parent

  • choosing to have kids in the climate we live in

  • the different tenants of the relationship escalator

  • how 3 years ago, I went from knowing I wanted kids no matter what to not wanting them overnight

  • the ethics around having kids with a genetic mutation of this nature

  • the nuclear family

  • polyamory, ovarian cancer, the BRCA gene and beyond

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer support sessions

Patreon

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Join her email list for all the important things / monthly announcements

Episode #131: What Living My F*ck Yes Life Means To Me Now

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Happy start to season 6, my Live Your F*ck Yes Lifers.

It always brings up so much gratitude for me when I kick off a new season of the podcast, and this one is no different.

As always, on this podcast, we tackle taboo subjects that aren’t spoken to very often. And we’re going in that space this season, DEEP. And I ask that you come in, as always, with an open heart and mind. Create space in yourself to learn and be curious. This is how we grow beyond our wildest dreams, my loves. Let’s do the damn thing.

Things I cover in today’s episode:

  • The mess of being a MF human

  • The light & the darkness and everything in between

  • Where the podcast is moving from now on / what to expect moving forward

  • The things I’ve navigated over the course of the last 3 years

  • Coming home to yourself

  • Change & evolution & full circles and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Patreon

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Polyam / ENM peer support sessions

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Join her email list for all the important things / monthly announcements

Episode #120: Let's Talk Polyamory | A Conversation Around Fear of Replacement with My Husband

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In todays episode of our “Let’s Talk Polyamory” series of the podcast, we deep dive into all things fear of abandonment and replacement. Todays topic really hits close to home for both of us, in very different ways. And it seems to hit close to home to many of you as well — next to jealousy, this has been our most requested conversation!

Tune in to todays episode to hear all about:

  • how we’ve navigated these fears pre polyamory

  • specifics around how we’ve struggled with these fears in wildly unique ways

  • how attachment theory plays into this

  • where this fear really stems from

  • Amanda gets vulnerable AF about some of her experiences that have led to her feeling more of these feelings in the last year

  • why we attract people into our lives that amplify our fears

  • tools that have supported us while navigating fear of being replaced or abandoned and beyond

Episode #118: Let's Talk Polyamory | A Conversation Around Jealousy With My Husband

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Ever since coming out as polyamorous, I’ve gotten SO many DMs and messages with really incredible questions from all of you. So I decided to do a special polyamory series of the podcast, and bring on my husband Kevan every week to talk about the biggest questions, fears & beyond that we receive to speak to these topics in a deeper way.

The number one question I get? How do you navigate jealousy?

So today, we break down our personal experiences around jealousy, what’s worked for us and the biggest tools that have supported us in navigating jealousy when moving from a monogamous framework to a polyamorous one.

This episode is a deep one (and one for you no matter how you choose to do relationships ‘cause we all experience jealousy to a certain degree, eh?)

So buckle up and let’s f*cking go!

Episode #117: It's Okay To Not Be Okay | A Solo Episode

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So many of you have been sharing with me that you’ve been having a global case of the “meh”s. Feeling constantly exhausted and not sure how to be/do/behave and beyond.

I had another episode planned for today but after so many of you responded that you were also feeling this way, I decided to hop on the podcast and share a quickie episode about why it’s never been more normal for these feelings to exist — for us to not be okay.

And yeah — I get candid AF about my own experience with this shit and into it with my nerdery around neuroscience. You know I can’t help myself.

Want twenty minutes of feeling better about why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling (or not feeling much of anything these days) and it’s exhausting? This episode is for you.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

LIVE YOUR F*CK YES LIFE VIRTUAL SUMMIT TICKETS — SELF LOVE & BODY CONFIDENCE EDITION

Live Your F*ck Yes Life Community — become a Patron!

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

1:1 coaching with Amanda — I am accepting 1-2 new coaching clients for 2021. Apply here to set up an initial call to see if this work together is a good fit.

Join her email list & get access to her fears & feels embodiment playlists

Episode #109: Looking Back on My Three Year Journey With BRCA | A Solo Episode

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When I saw that December 3rd 2020 fell on a Thursday — the same day a podcast has dropped into your earbuds almost every day barring season breaks for the last (almost) 3 years, I knew that the Universe knew what was up.

This date will forever go down in history as a reminder of me navigating my preventative double mastectomy for two reasons:

1) On December 3rd, 2018, I went under the knife and had my surgery.

2) On December 3rd, 2019, I released my book I Chopped Off My Tits into the world.

So when I was thinking about how to honor what this day means to me, and, really, what the last almost 3 years of sifting through the fears and feels around all things BRCA — I thought it would be pretty epic to go back to when it all began: February 6th, 2018, two days after my 27th birthday, when I got the call from my doctor that I was, in fact, positive for the BRCA 1 gene and travel through time together via the podcast and my book and current real time expressions.

Fear? Working through the feels? Sifting through anything that impacts our mental health, physical health, relationships, work, sex lives and beyond? It can feel OVERWHELMING AF. Especially because we’re endlessly taught that we need to have our shit together through the mess. The shoulds can be so f*cking suffocating. I know because I was there, love.

And I hope this episode reminds you that no matter what you’re facing, you’re not alone in the mess. I’ve got you. The Live Your F*ck yes community has you. So curl up and let’s go on this journey together.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

GET YOUR COPY OF I CHOPPED OFF MY TITS HERE!

Episode 6

Episode 44

Episode 78

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

1:1 coaching — I am accepting 2-3 new coaching clients come Jan 2021. Apply here to set up a call to see if we’re a good fit.

Episode #94: The Transformative Magic of Breathwork And Meditation with MB Mannino

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I poo-poo’d meditation for the longest time. It was something I didn’t get. I was incredibly intimidated by it. It felt so foreign to me. And the idea of having a meditation practice was (and sometimes still is), something I feel so resistant to.

And if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that where we face resistance, is where we need to place our energy and time because THAT is where the massive growth and transformation takes place. And I couldn’t have imagined a more amazing human to bring on the podcast to deep dive into the magic that is all things meditation & breathwork.

MB is a certified breathwork facilitator, meditation guide and holistic wellness coach based in Metro Detroit. She helps you clear through feelings of stress and anxiety using your breath and body to realign you with your highest, most vibrant self. 

Things we talk about in today’s episode:

  • Her journey from working in ad sales and living a life of burnout to the world of breathwork and meditation

  • What meditation really is — it’s probably not what you think, love.

  • How mindfulness and stillness is the path to healing

  • The discomfort of slowing down

  • Why these modalities are more important than ever amidst this time

  • Facing the “feelings explosion” with intention

  • Finding new ways to express ourselves in quarantine, her Corgi Cooper, supportive feminine practices and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE:

Live Your F*ck Yes Life Summit

MB’s Website: www.mbmannino.com

MB’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/mb.mannino

Masterclass

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Join the Live Your F*ck Yes Life Membership — now 50% off through quarantine!

GET YOUR COPY OF I CHOPPED OFF MY TITS HERE!


Episode #92: The True Path To Inner Peace | A Solo Episode

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COMING HOME TO OURSELVES ISN’T ABOUT LEARNING SOMETHING NEW OR BECOMING LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY SEEM TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. IT’S ABOUT STEPPING OUT OF THE CAGE WE’VE BUILT TO KEEP US SMALL AND “ACCEPTABLE” AND UNLEASHING OUR UNAPOLOGETIC SELVES.

In the past few years, I’ve dove off the deep end to radical inner work that has allowed me to break down the boxes I had spent so much of my life living inside (boxes that slowly built around me without me even fucking realizing it because THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS.)

It’s been a journey of unbecoming. Of liberation. Of unapologetically showing up as my true self, facing fear head on and shedding the layers of what was never mine to begin with.

Today’s episode, we deep dive into what that can look like, and how you can use this time to amplify your sense of self instead of lose it.

LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE:

Grab your copy of I Chopped Off My Tits

Connect with Amanda on her Instagram about Unapologetically Confident


WORK WITH AMANDA:

Join the Live Your F*ck Yes Life Membership — 50 % off right now during the pandemic!

1:1 Mindset Coaching Consult 

Episode #78: I Chopped Off My Tits | A Solo Episode

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This week marks the year anniversary of my preventative double mastectomy.

And it also marks the launch of my new book, I Chopped Off My Tits.

It’s been a pretty surreal time in my life and I’ve been spending so much of it in reflection, and I wanted to share my heart with you all this week around what the last year has meant to me, where I’m at now and what I’ve learned most around fear, trauma, hard AF decisions and vulnerability.

Warning: I get super teary eyed on this one.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking this journey with me.

I love you all more than I can say.

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

GET YOUR COPY OF I CHOPPED OFF MY TITS HERE!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @amandakatherineloy and don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review on Itunes!

WORK WITH AMANDA:

Join the Live Your F*ck Yes Life Membership

Book a consult for 1:1 work in emotional/binge eating and mindset

Episode #44: What It's Like To Get a Double Mastectomy At the Age of 27 | A Solo Episode

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

“I lost an entire six hours of my day. One minute I was holding my husbands finger and the next minute I was blinking half awake in the ICU saying I was nauseous.”

Happy season 2 my Live Your F*ck Yes Lifers!

Holy balls, it’s good to be back. I’ve missed you guys.

Season 2 is about to be incredible so hold onto your hats — the lineup of conversations are seriously so juicy and amazing and I can’t wait for you guys to hear them.

But before we get there, I thought it was only fitting to kick off the start of season 2 with the true tell all about my preventative double mastectomy and what it’s really been like.

So many of you have been asking about the nitty gritty deets so today, we get into all of that and more.


Things I cover in today’s episode.

  • Navigating trauma and facing your fears head on

  • Fears I had heading into surgery, body dysmorphia and sex

  • Breast cancer awareness, the BRCA gene, major surgery

  • What I did to prep for it

  • The nitty gritty of my personal choices

  • What recovery has really looked like

Episode #42: Owning Your Full Potential and Facing Your Upper Limits | A Solo Episode

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

“It could envision myself having these dreams and hitting these goals, and really embodying my full potential as a human being. I could see her and she felt so freaking close. And then I got scared. And I immediately pulled back into my hole and thought 'I can’t do that. I can’t be that person.’”

Have you ever been afraid of being successful?

Of standing in your unapologetic truth?

It can be so terrifying to rise up into our full potential. And so often, we let that fear hold us back from taking any action and instead, we tell ourselves why we’re not good enough and self sabotage from moving in that direction.

I had an unexpected experience with this this week that threw me for a loop in ways I didn’t anticipate. And holy shiz balls did I hit that upper limit ceiling around the prospect of owning my full potential — because I finally had clarity around what that could look like this weekend and it scared the living crap out of me.

More in this week’s episode my loves.

Episode #39: What you need to know about the BRCA gene

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

“When you have a mutation of one of these genes, that’s when you have a significant risk of developing one of those cancers in your lifetime.”

I was so honored to share my full story about the BRCA gene and my decision to get a preventative double mastectomy later this year on my friend Jen Wille’s podcast a few weeks back and I knew I needed to share this conversation with all of you.

This is the most vulnerable I’ve felt all year. And I would not be me if I didn’t share that with you.

So here goes. Dig in, and if you have any questions about anything I talk about, please do not hesitate to reach out. I am always here for you.

Here are a few things we discuss in todays episode:

  • My one non negotiable to start my day every day

  • The power (and fear) attached to sharing stories while navigating it in real time

  • My intention word of 2018 and the irony of it all

  • The ins and outs of the BRCA gene and how it impacts women vs. men

  • Navigating the idea of having kids now

  • The options for reducing your risk when you have the gene

  • Facing things you’re absolutely terrified of head on

  • Talking about my BOOBS in detail

  • The exact surgery I’m getting

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

TEAMI BLENDS TEAS — use code LYFYL for 15% off your purchase

Episode 21: Having the courage to live life with intention, radical self care and growing up in foster care with Jen Wille

Previous podcast episodes where I touch on BRCA // Episode 10: Finding strength in unexpected places & Episode 6: Facing Fear Head On

Jen’s podcast First & Foremost

FORCE

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

Episode #37: The Truth About Anxiety with Rachel Wright

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

If it’s impairing your life and hurting you, it’s enough.

Psychotherapist and Therapeutic Relationship Coach, Rachel Wright is recognized as one of the freshest voices on modern and millennial relationships. She is the co-founder of Wright Wellness Center where, together with her husband and team, she is on a mission to help people have better sex, relationships, and mental health, through a growing catalog of masterclasses, online programs, resources, and a supportive online community. She’s been referred to as someone “bridging the gap between a self-help book and a therapist’s couch.” Rachel is also a sex educator, speaker, and writer, and the co-host of the popular WWC Podcast, that hosts a weekly discussion about the things that matter in life and aren’t talked about enough. She has been featured widely in the media, including Women’s Health, PsychologyToday, MindBodyGreen, Bustle, and dozens of other outlets.

Things we discuss in today’s episode:

  • How to identify anxiety in your day to day life

  • The full story of when she had a panic attack on her wedding day

  • The rampant should-ing all over ourselves we do

  • My own journey with anxiety and something I’ve never shared on the pod before

  • The differences between anxiety and stress

  • The physiological signs of anxiety

  • Anxiety attacks vs. panic attacks (and how they greatly differ)

  • How to thrive alongside anxiety and create a self care plan of action

  • The beauty of curiosity

  • How to navigate anxiety that’s been brought on by trauma

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

TEAMI BLENDS TEAS — use code LYFYL for 15% off your purchase

Rachel’s Instagram

Wright Wellness Center

Yoga Nidra meditations

Episode 9: How to communicate effectively with your partner and rekindle the spark in your relationship with Rachel & Kyle Wright

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

Episode #31: What nobody tells you about having a miscarriage with Anna Maria Locke

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

"I didn't realize that I was afraid of being said until this year and until I went through this loss."

Anna Maria Locke is back on the podcast and today, she's sharing something that so few actually have the courage to talk about.

Miscarriage.

Something that is so taboo in our society to talk about publicly and yet so many women go through it and feel so alone in the process.

Whether you've experienced a miscarriage before, know someone who has, are thinking about getting pregnant or are just navigating a tough season in your life, this episode is a must listen. 

Here are some things we discuss in today's episode:

  • Breaking free of the taboo nature of miscarriages and getting real AF about what it's really like to go through one
  • The fears she's had along the journey
  • What actually happens when we experience grief
  • The endless pursuit of the high vibe life
  • The reality of pregnancy and what no one talks about
  • Getting pregnant is super different than what you may think
  • Tools and resources for support
  • The weird expected timeline of telling others you're pregnant
  • How to arm yourself with some self care tools to help you navigate hardships in your life
  • The beauty and importance of unproductive days  
  • Approaching pregnancy after navigating a miscarriage

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY'S EPISODE

The Authentic Woman Series -- use code: 10LOY for 10% off!

EMPOWERED AND FREE RETREAT

Anna's Website | Wild Synchronicity program | Instagram

The Happiness Advantage

Kindara | Natural cycles

Anna's blog post

Anna's Etsy Shop

Episode 2 of the podcast

 

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

Episode #12: Manifesting the life of your dreams with Angie Lee

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

"I treated myself like I was the most precious and most amazing awesome thing, even if I didn't feel that way, because it's about acting like that version of yourself before you're there. You have to act as that woman today to get there in the future."

Angie Lee is a life coach, marketing mentor to entrepreneurs, author, speaker, Co Founder of DailyRx & host of the top rated Rich Bitch Podcast. 

Corporate Dropout ($100k in debt) to 7 figure serial entrepreneur under 30, Angie is dedicated to showing women how to upgrade their relationship with success & monetize their passion. Her passion runs deep for wellness, biohacking and Organic Marketing. Her genius is helping women break up with fear & discover unstoppable confidence. She’s committed to
helping women grow in their business, health and relationships.

Here are a few things we discussed in today’s episode:

  • Being 100% true to your goofy self in your business and life
  • The power of investing in yourself financially
  • Angie's obsession with Tony Robbins
  • Money manifestation and how to handle the burden of being in debt
  • The Law of Attraction and how we have the power, for better of for worse, of creating our own realities
  • How I manifested the money to work with Angie
  • Her favorite mantras and how she incorporates them in her day
  • The power of making sh*t FUN and why her dream job is to become a stand up comedian
  • How to create a positive money mindset
  • How she handles fear in her life

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY'S EPISODE

Angie's Instagram // Podcast

Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins

Abraham Hicks // Youtube clip

Amy Schumer / Joe Rogan / Dave Chappel

Chalene Johnson's podcast

Rich Dad Poor Dad

 

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT 

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

 

    Episode #6: Facing Fear Head On | Solo Episode

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    EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

    "Some days you feel on top of the world and some days you feel like a hot a** mess. And sometimes you go through something in your life that completely knocks you off your feet -- in amazing ways and in terrifying ways -- and I'm facing the latter right now." 

    This is the last thing I thought I'd be sharing with you on the podcast today.

    On February 6th, 2018, two days after my 27th birthday, I got a call that changed everything. That shook me to my core and has left me processing and spinning and navigating this new found identity.

    I almost didn't share this. 

    But it's my mission to be transparent AF and share the mess and goddamn if this is not the messiest thing in my own life right now.

    And I hope it brings some light to yours. That you feel just a little less alone. And that if you're going through something like this or know someone in your life that is, that this gives you the strength to know that whatever you are facing, you are STRONG enough to navigate it.

    Feel the feels, take action and show up for your goddamn life.

    Here are a few things I touch on in todays episode:

    • Why I'm in the midst of another "quarter life crisis"
    • The power of your gut
    • Why I chose the word UNAPOLOGETIC for 2018
    • The fear I'm facing every single freaking day
    • The power of a shower sob fest
    • Choosing to be a warrior, not a worrier

      •  

    photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain