love

Episode #160: How I'm Really Doing | A Divorce Update

One of the most common things I get asked by you all is how I’m really doing post / during my divorce, and I get it. I haven’t really talked about how I’m doing in a direct way regarding this particular piece of my story and while that’s been intentional — I realized that not doing so was also a disservice to all of you and to this process.

If there’s anything I’ve realized through this experience, it’s that there are not a lot of blueprints out there on how to navigate the process of a divorce. What you might expect. Shit you might face.

I thought I could have predicted what the last year and half would look like. And I was wrong. It’s been a rollercoaster. One that I’m finally sharing more about on todays episode.

If you are going through a divorce or a de-escalation, please give yourself some grace. This shit is hard. Complicated. Messy. And if you know someone going through either, reach out to them and tell them you’re there.

PS: my neighbors downstairs were having what sounded like a rave during the only time I had to record this so, enjoy the weird ambient music LOL

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

DM or email Amanda for current somatic/embodiment coaching opportunities

Episode #149: Divorce Doesn't Have To Be A Dirty Word

I wasn’t sure that I was going to share this episode today, but it felt right, so here we are. And, in true Amanda fashion, we’re getting wildly vulnerable and moving through the mess on our season finale of the podcast about something so many of you have been wondering for months:

Divorce.

Specifically my divorce.

This episode is messy, because divorce is messy.

This episode is filled with feels, because transitions and grief like this brings up a lot.

This episode also tackles the notion that divorce, de-escalations and breakups don’t have to be (and often rarely are) this cut and dry, black and white, good / bad thing.

Sometimes, divorce is the very thing that sets you free. It is and was for me.

Things Amanda talks about in todays episode:

  • What this episode is not going to be about

  • Boundaries with respect to when / what to share around this chapter

  • The 3 life events that are most disruptive to our nervous system / mental health

  • The difference between a breakup and a de-escalation

  • Leading with love

  • The reason for the divorce had nothing to do with polyamory

  • Being a big feeler, relationship anarchist values, the things she’s been doing to support herself during this time & what’s next


LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Fucking Queer Merch

All About Love by Bell Hooks

Support Amanda - Venmo: @myfuckyeslife


WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon - join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Join her email list for all the important things / future group coaching & teaching announcements

Episode #142: You Can F*cking Choose The Way You Do Relationships, And It’s Epic

Confused AF about what kind of relationship model you actually want because all you’ve ever been taught is monogamy or bust? And even THEN, monogamy has soooo much variability from person to person around expectations, needs, what the relationship feels like/looks like, boundaries etc?

Amanda was too.

We aren’t taught this shit. We’re just thrown into the world to figure it out by the seat of our pants, so she’s popping into your earbuds today to talk about just what your options really are, so you can move through your relationships and life decisions from a place that is rooted in your unique values, desires and needs.

Things she talks about in todays episode:

  • A breakdown of the different relationship models, from Monogamy to Relationship Anarchy (all along her Fuck Yes Relationship Model scale) — go to @amandkatherineloy on Instagram for the visual to follow along

  • What model she feels most particularly aligned with

  • The importance of knowing your values

  • How to communicate with your partners so you can have aligned expectations

Episode #135: WTF Should We Need & Expect Of Our Partners | A Conversation with Gabrielle Stone

You loved her the last time she was here and she’s BACK!

Gabrielle Stone (she/her), a fan favorite on the Live Your F*ck Yes Life podcast, makes no secret about her past with toxic relationships & a cheating MF of an ex husband. And she’s shared it all in her best selling books and on her podcast and beyond. I’ve been having a lot of conversations in my DMs and with friends about the expectations and needs we place on our partners and, given that I am polyamorous and inherently bring that bias and lens to any conversation around relationships, I wanted to bring on someone who consciously chooses monogamy to have this conversation with and knew that Gabrielle was the gal to call upon.

Things we talk about on this episode:

  • conversations we’ve had with our friends around the important things in relationships

  • our shared need to be seen, loved and championed for who we are

  • how societal norms have informed our paths in relationship dynamics & choices

  • the importance of communication

  • the BS narrative that healing can only happen when we’re single

  • the lessons we can take from the relationships we’ve had and have

  • the idea “soulmate” or “the one”

  • Amanda’s constellation way of viewing her relationships

  • the needs & expectations we have in our romantic partnerships

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Live Your F*ck Yes Life Summit: Non Monogamy & Polyamory

Gabrielle’s Instagram

The Ridiculous Misadventures of A Single Girl

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy Culture

Episode 125: Eat, Pray, #FML with Gabrielle Stone

FML Talk: F%ck Polyamory

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer Support Sessions

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Become a Patreon of the podcast

Join her email list for all the important things / monthly announcements

Episode #125: Eat, Pray, #FML with Gabrielle Stone

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This gal? She’s Eat, Pray, Love but with all the real talk and vulnerability and delicious messiness that is real life. She’s been through it all — a massive divorce post affair, heartbreak, a solo adventure trip to find herself. All of which led to her writing her book Eat, Pray, #FML — and in todays episode, we deep dive into all things love, heartbreak, grief, self love and beyond.

Gabrielle Stone is no stranger to the world of entertainment. Growing up on set with her legendary scream-queen mother, Dee Wallace (Cujo, E.T.), she had days of licking off mommy’s fake blood and watching behind the scenes movie magic. Seeing the world with mom and dad gave her the travel bug at an early age—until Gabrielle experienced a real-life horror when she lost her father suddenly at age seven. After many years in the industry herself, Stone transitioned from meaty acting roles to writing and directing. Her award-winning films It Happened Again Last Night and After Emma gained her awards for writing, directing, and acting—but she had a bigger role in life that would soon present itself: freaking badass.

 After the rug was vigorously pulled out from under her when her husband’s affair came to light, she found herself falling into the arms of another man. After a second failed attempt at love and a massive heartbreak, she decided that instead of landing flat on her ass—she’d make a career out of it.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • The journey that led her to write her book

  • Her experience of and perspective around grief and heartbreak

  • The biggest thing she’s learned on her journey

  • Patterns in relationships and where they come from

  • Love bombing

  • What her next book is about

  • Red flags to look out for when dating, some never before shared truths about the characters in her book and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Live Your F*ck Yes Life Patreon

Video version of the podcast

Gabrielles website: https://www.eatprayfml.com/

Gabrielles Instagram | Tik Tok - @gabrielle_stone

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

1:1 coaching with Amanda — I am accepting 1-2 new coaching clients for 2021. Apply here to set up an initial call to see if this work together is a good fit.

Join her email list & get access to her fears & feels embodiment playlists

Episode #122: Breaking Down Attachment Styles with Jessica Fern

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I’ve been wanting to have a conversation around attachment theory and the various attachment styles on the podcast for a long time, and I knew as soon as I started reading Polysecure that I needed to have Jessica on to break it all down.

Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Non Monogamy. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • Her work as a psychotherapist and what led her to focusing on attachment styles and polyamory

  • The four different types of attachment

  • Her perspective around identifying with our attachment styles versus the way to approach the path to building secure attachments

  • Ethical non monogamy and polyamory

  • How we develop our individual attachment styles

  • How to develop secure attachments in ethically non monogamous relationships

  • The difference between a secure base and a safe haven

  • The HEARTS action steps, stepping off the relationship escalator, evolution & growth and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

School of Fears, Feels & Fucks

Video version of the podcast

Buy Jessica’s book: Polysecure

Jessica’s website

Stepping Off The Relationship Escalator

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

1:1 coaching with Amanda — I am accepting 1-2 new coaching clients for 2021. Apply here to set up an initial call to see if this work together is a good fit.

Join her email list & get access to her fears & feels embodiment playlists

Episode #85: How Reality TV Gives Us A Skewed AF Way Of Seeing The World with Taylor Nolan

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I’m so excited to share this amazeballs conversation with you on the podcast today with the one and only Taylor Nolan. You may recognize her from as one of Bachelor nation’s most talked about contestants (and one of my personal favorites to ever come from the franchise). If you aren’t familiar with her work and life outside of that space, get READY because she walks the walk on real talk, authenticity and candor.

Taylor is a psychotherapist and host of Let's Talk About It podcast, creating space for meaningful conversations around taboo topics like mental and sexual health. 

And today, we deep dive into all things reality tv and the impact that shows like the Bachelor and Love is Blind (#spoileralert — watch the show!) have on our society and cultural norms as a whole.

Things we discuss in today’s episode:

  • Her thoughts and feelings on reality tv now that she’s two years out of her Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise experience

  • The lack of representation in reality tv

  • Why we both love Love Is Blind and our deep thoughts around allllll the shiz there with Carlton, Cameron and Lauren and Gigi and Damien’s relationship

  • Sexuality, purity/innocence complex, toxic monogamy

  • How The Bachelor is basically polyamory

  • Non monogamy, non traditional relationships, our favorite vibrators and beyond!

Episode #35: Polyamory and ethical non monogamy with Dedeker Winston

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

Our narratives around love and sex and romance don’t necessarily hold up all of the time.

Dedeker Winston was raised to be a wholesome Christian conservative, but later opted to be a sex-positive polyamory activist, relationship coach, and nude model. She currently provides one-on-one coaching services for people transitioning into non-monogamy and is one of the hosts of the Multiamory podcast. She has been sought out as an expert for Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Newsweek, Vice, Bustle, AskMen, and recently presented a Talk at Google on non-monogamy. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory.

Here are a few things we discuss in todays episode:

  • Polyamory 101: what does it even mean to be polyamorous?

  • Dedeker’s journey from conservative Christian to sex positive and ethical non monogamy activist

  • Removing the stigma from ethical non monogamy

  • Infidelity, affairs and being attracted to someone else when you’re already in a relationship

  • Cultural norms and the expectations placed on us without being aware of it

  • The relationship escalator and how more of us are on it without even realizing it

  • Jealousy

  • The multiple ways you can dive into the world of ethical non monogamy

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

TEAMI BLENDS TEAS — use code LYFYL for 15% off your purchase

Websites: dedekerwinston.com | multiamory.com
Twitter: @dedekerwinston
Snag her book The Smart Girls Guide to Polyamory // Audiobook version coming out on October 18th!

Stepping off The Relationship Escalator

Relationship anarchist manifesto

Cappadocia

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

Episode #24: YOUR OWNER'S MANUAL TO DATING IN 2018 WITH Kira Sabin

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

"Love lies in the vulnerability. You can't love perfect. So if we're all trying to be perfect for that person all the time, they actually can't love you. So you're full on f*cking sabotaging it."

Kira Sabin has been coaching single women from San Diego to Singapore since 2007. She is a positive psychology practitioner through The Flourishing Center and a professionally certified coach through the International Coach Academy…however, she has taken her work much further than that. UNDERSTANDING HOW LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS WORK FROM A PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SCIENTIFIC POINT OF VIEW HAS BEEN BECOME HER PASSION. Creating a way to take everything she has learned and apply that individually to her clients so that they can CREATE real and healthy relationships that last has become her obsession.  

And most importantly, she is a former shit-show dater who learned how to stop bending over backwards, become more vulnerable and created the relationship of her life starting at 41!

Here are some things we discuss in today's episode:

  • Dating in 2018
  • Her journey from shit-show dater to figuring it the F out
  • Where relationship failures really stem from.
  • How to be hella confident with yourself, single. 
  • Her perspective on online dating
  • Making decisions out of love versus fear
  • First date ideas that will actually let you get to know the person
  • Why you keep attracting unavailable guys
  • How being true to ourselves is the key to letting love in
  • How my marriage changed because of Harry Potter

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY'S EPISODE

APPLY FOR OPERATION STRONG AF

Kira's Website | Instagram | Podcast

Reach out to Amanda on Instagram

 

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain