Episode #160: How I'm Really Doing | A Divorce Update

One of the most common things I get asked by you all is how I’m really doing post / during my divorce, and I get it. I haven’t really talked about how I’m doing in a direct way regarding this particular piece of my story and while that’s been intentional — I realized that not doing so was also a disservice to all of you and to this process.

If there’s anything I’ve realized through this experience, it’s that there are not a lot of blueprints out there on how to navigate the process of a divorce. What you might expect. Shit you might face.

I thought I could have predicted what the last year and half would look like. And I was wrong. It’s been a rollercoaster. One that I’m finally sharing more about on todays episode.

If you are going through a divorce or a de-escalation, please give yourself some grace. This shit is hard. Complicated. Messy. And if you know someone going through either, reach out to them and tell them you’re there.

PS: my neighbors downstairs were having what sounded like a rave during the only time I had to record this so, enjoy the weird ambient music LOL

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Episode #154: Is Hierarchy In Relationships Ethical? Let's F*cking Talk About It.

Is hierarchy in relationships ethical? A very important question that folks in non monogamous and monogamous relationships alike have been asking and unpacking and holy balls, do we have a lot to say about this subject.

I’ve had a WILD ride when it comes to hierarchy in relationships since I was in high school. Although I didn’t have the language at the time (and internal knowing and understanding that I could exist in any other ways), I’ve always been a queer, ambiamorous, demisexual relationship anarchist. AND I also externally looked like I was existing in and choosing a wildly heteronormative, “traditional” relationship that appeared very hierarchical. And yet, it wasn’t that at all.

Today, we talk about, simply, if hierarchical relationships are ethical.

Hint: (you guessed it), my answer is clear and also nuanced, ‘cause there are so many systems and structures in place in western society that makes this answer much more complicated than a hard YES or NO.

And, as always, I share what experiences I navigated in rectifying with these things in my own personal unlearning process around all things toxic monogamy culture, the patriarchy, heteronormativity and beyond. Let’s get the f*ck into it.

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LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off / proceeds go to the Brave Space Alliance

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Episode #152: Ambiamory & Finding Your Authentic Path In A Binary World

I dropped the “I don’t identify as polyamorous anymore” bomb a few months ago & I’m finally sharing the behind the scenes of why I arrived there. I promise you, it’s not what many folks think.

So let’s get the fuck into it, bbs.

Some things I talk about in todays episode:

• The mess and the magic of sifting through identity markers to figure out who the fuck you are

• My own process of feeling seen within the label of ambiamory and what it means

• The collective cry around breaking the binary, and what that has looked like for my own journey

• My unique timeline of queer liberation, relationship anarchy, demisexuality, divorce & coming home to my deepest knowing

• Critical thinking & navigating the nuance of humanity

• Sifting through the balance of rejecting, at my core, the patriarchy & capitalism while finding ways to flow within the structures we currently have to operate within

• Witchy astrology queer shit, somatic healing, trauma and nervous system recovery, gender fluidity & expression and beyond.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Who I am Updated Instagram post

Ambiamory definition

Episode 151: Let’s Talk Relationship Anarchy

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy

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