Episode #158: Cultivating Queer Community with Rainn Thomas

This is my fifth pride out as a queer person, and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t felt at a loss on how to being to find queer community. Part of queer-ness isn’t just going from thinking you’re straight to knowing you’re queer and then voila, you’ve got the queer life of your dreams. It’s a whirlwind of unpacking comp het, going through queer puberty (I used to scoff at the idea of this but it’s a thing), and finding where you feel the most at home and yourself in your queerness.

Not to mention getting your brain unf*cked from the patriarchy.

These are conversations I have in my own circles, often, and I’m so grateful to have someone like Rainn in my own life to learn from and converse with. And I’m even more stoked that they agreed to come on the pod for us to have one of these conversations with all of you.

If you aren’t familiar with Rainn (She/They), she is a Black lesbian artist and writer living in Chicago. She’s the Host and Co-Organizer of Fruit Salad, a monthly queer open mic. Her writing has appeared in several online publications, and her second poetry chapbook, “In our hands, citrus” will be released later this year. Her artwork has appeared at Co-Prosperity Sphere, The Whistler, The Robin in the Martin, and The Franklin.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

• how the fuck to make queer friends

• their queer timeline and how she’s navigated all things non monogamy, internalized homophobia and de-escalations in their relationships

• why lesbianism means so much to her

• how to know where you belong

• local artist & queer community, and the way she’s personally contributing to it with Fruit Salad

• all things chosen family, sapphic love, power dynamics in relationships and beyond

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ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:

Get 40% off yearly pass for Beducated — use code: fuckyes

Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Rainn’s Instagram

Fruit Salad | Dorothy Downstairs | The Martin

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Snag one of Amanda’s June somatic embodiment coaching pop up sessions : 60 mins | 90 mins

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Episode #154: Is Hierarchy In Relationships Ethical? Let's F*cking Talk About It.

Is hierarchy in relationships ethical? A very important question that folks in non monogamous and monogamous relationships alike have been asking and unpacking and holy balls, do we have a lot to say about this subject.

I’ve had a WILD ride when it comes to hierarchy in relationships since I was in high school. Although I didn’t have the language at the time (and internal knowing and understanding that I could exist in any other ways), I’ve always been a queer, ambiamorous, demisexual relationship anarchist. AND I also externally looked like I was existing in and choosing a wildly heteronormative, “traditional” relationship that appeared very hierarchical. And yet, it wasn’t that at all.

Today, we talk about, simply, if hierarchical relationships are ethical.

Hint: (you guessed it), my answer is clear and also nuanced, ‘cause there are so many systems and structures in place in western society that makes this answer much more complicated than a hard YES or NO.

And, as always, I share what experiences I navigated in rectifying with these things in my own personal unlearning process around all things toxic monogamy culture, the patriarchy, heteronormativity and beyond. Let’s get the f*ck into it.

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LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off / proceeds go to the Brave Space Alliance

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Patreon — donate to support the pod, content etc.

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Episode #146: Scars Don't Mean You're Broken

We all have scars.

The physical ones that we see, and all of the ones that are there that we can’t.

But we feel them. We know them. And, sometimes, we discover we have them years into our adult lives and the shame, the guilt, the overwhelm of processing it all can be all consuming and incredibly fucking daunting to face.

TW: self loathing, body image, medical procedures/needles

In todays episode and in honor of mental health awareness month, Amanda talks about her journey with scars — both physical and beyond. And shares some truth bombs & support around how you can start your own journey in detaching yourself from the shame and guilt of the scars you keep.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Episode 144

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon - join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Join her email list for all the important things / future group coaching & teaching announcements