demisexual

Episode #161: Let's Talk Demisexuality

We’re finally doing it — an episode dedicated to all things demisexuality!

Understanding demisexuality was the lightbulb I needed in fully understanding myself and how/why my attraction has looked like the way it has. I always felt … weird. Different. And I didn’t understand why I didn’t experience that initial intense physical attraction towards someone, ever.

In todays episode, we dive into my personal flavor of demisexuality, how I’ve adapted my dating practices to align with my unique needs and all about the lightbulb switch that has everything to do with my attraction needs.

THINGS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Episode 160

The Podcast Instagram

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

DM or email Amanda for current somatic/embodiment coaching opportunities

Episode #156: Let's Talk Queer Platonic Partnership with my QPP, Kels

Well, fuck, this episode means the world to me and I am just so damn grateful to get to introduce you all beyond the gram to my queer platonic partner, Kels (they/them).

I’ve loved cultivating this partnership over the last year of my life. They mean the absolute world to me, and finding our way into what we are today has been a journey — one that I’m very proud of, and one that we get into the nitty gritty of in this conversation.

Relationships don’t have to be sexual to be partnerships. Period. Our relationship continues to show me the depth and epic nature of platonic intimacy. And how epic and nuanced queer love is. How our queer love is. And I’m so deeply honored to get to share a little big piece of this love of mine with all of you.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • the story of our love and how we’ve evolved into what we are today

  • the different types of attraction

  • the fear/complexities of building the blueprint of non-traditional relationships like ours

  • the overlap of the non monogamous and queer communities

  • what our queer platonic partnership looks like in practice

  • queer-ing your relationships, identity, top surgery, queer/gender expression & beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off / proceeds go to the Brave Space Alliance

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Patreon — donate to support the pod, content etc.

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Episode #154: Is Hierarchy In Relationships Ethical? Let's F*cking Talk About It.

Is hierarchy in relationships ethical? A very important question that folks in non monogamous and monogamous relationships alike have been asking and unpacking and holy balls, do we have a lot to say about this subject.

I’ve had a WILD ride when it comes to hierarchy in relationships since I was in high school. Although I didn’t have the language at the time (and internal knowing and understanding that I could exist in any other ways), I’ve always been a queer, ambiamorous, demisexual relationship anarchist. AND I also externally looked like I was existing in and choosing a wildly heteronormative, “traditional” relationship that appeared very hierarchical. And yet, it wasn’t that at all.

Today, we talk about, simply, if hierarchical relationships are ethical.

Hint: (you guessed it), my answer is clear and also nuanced, ‘cause there are so many systems and structures in place in western society that makes this answer much more complicated than a hard YES or NO.

And, as always, I share what experiences I navigated in rectifying with these things in my own personal unlearning process around all things toxic monogamy culture, the patriarchy, heteronormativity and beyond. Let’s get the f*ck into it.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off / proceeds go to the Brave Space Alliance

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Patreon — donate to support the pod, content etc.

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Episode #152: Ambiamory & Finding Your Authentic Path In A Binary World

I dropped the “I don’t identify as polyamorous anymore” bomb a few months ago & I’m finally sharing the behind the scenes of why I arrived there. I promise you, it’s not what many folks think.

So let’s get the fuck into it, bbs.

Some things I talk about in todays episode:

  • The mess and the magic of sifting through identity markers to figure out who the fuck you are

  • My own process of feeling seen within the label of ambiamory and what it means

  • The collective cry around breaking the binary, and what that has looked like for my own journey

  • My unique timeline of queer liberation, relationship anarchy, demisexuality, divorce & coming home to my deepest knowing

  • Critical thinking & navigating the nuance of humanity

  • Sifting through the balance of rejecting, at my core, the patriarchy & capitalism while finding ways to flow within the structures we currently have to operate within

  • Witchy astrology queer shit, somatic healing, trauma and nervous system recovery, gender fluidity & expression and beyond.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Who I am Updated Instagram post

Ambiamory definition

Episode 151: Let’s Talk Relationship Anarchy

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon - support the pod & join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Join email list for occasional nudges, offerings and love.

Episode #150: I Belong To Me

Welcome back to the pod my queer-dos, loves and everyone in between.

It feels really fitting to be coming back to the pod at this time of year — not just post the first birthday I’ve had in years that wasn’t surrounded by chaos and pain because of my personal life, but also because this marks the 5 year anniversary of the pod. Crazy balls.

So much of the last six months since I saw you last here has been me healing post divorce (and all that came with leaving) and integrating the values I have into my day to day world. And, in that, so much of my focus has been on belonging — both to myself, and what I want belonging in community and in space to look and feel like, both within interpersonal relationships and as the artist and facilitator that I am.

And in todays episode, we deep dive into all of that and more.

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Fucking Queer Merch

Episode 149 : Divorce Is Not A Dirty Word

32 Things Instagram Post

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon - support the pod & join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Join her email list for all the important things / future group coaching & teaching announcements

Episode #133: Demisexual Sluts Unite | A Conversation with Jessica Levity

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Demisexual sluts unite.

Okay, all jokes aside for a minute, today on the podcast, we’re deep diving into all things demisexuality. Whether you identify as a slut or not, you’re gonna LOVE this conversation where my friend and fellow polyamorous creator & educator Jess deep dive into our personal experiences coming into our demisexuality — and so much more.

Who is Jess? Jessica Levity (she/her) is a digital media and live entertainment producer and entertainer livin' in Reno, Nevada. Pre-panny you could find her on stage in a variety of touring shows through her company Homeslice Productions. After the pandemic killed her industry, she finally launched a "back-burner" project called "Remodeled Love", whose mission is to "expand the cultural narrative on healthy relationships and polyamory". It is now her most successful (and global) project! She's a white, cis woman, who identifies as a queer, polyamorous, demisexual slut. She's also a mama, an anti-capitalist, and witchy as fuck.

If you don’t know her, get ready to fall in love with her energy, her real-ness and the hilarity that ensues in this conversation.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • Woo practices & outlining the most important pieces of our dating profiles

  • The definition of demisexuality

  • What being demisexual has meant for us

  • Our group chat of polyamorous creators

  • How things plays into our individual journeys with kink

  • How we both feel about being demisexual and how it impacts our polyamorous journeys

  • Power, expectations, flirting, body dysmorphia and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Jess’s Instagram | Website

Remodeled podcast

Jessamyn Stanley

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer support sessions

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Become a Patreon of the podcast

Join her email list for all the important things / monthly announcements

Episode #100: This Is Pride (We're Here And We're Queer)

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100 episodes.

Just saying that out loud feels surreal. 100 episodes ago, I launched this podcast with a dream — a dream to cultivate a space for real, honest and candid conversations around all sorts of topics. I didn’t know where it was going to go. But I knew that the conversations I was having around taboo or TMI subjects behind closed doors with my friends and fellow entrepreneurs were ones that needed to be shared publicly.

When we leave things unsaid or don’t talk about things in the open, shame around that subject develops. And if there’s anything that I strive for with all of the work that I do is to embolden everyone I teach and come across to revel in their uniqueness and release anything holding them back not allowing them to live their f*ck yes life.

And I do it alongside of them. Alongside of you. Because coming home to yourself is lifelong work — and the deepest and most important work a human can do, in my opinion.

Owning my queerness has been a huge part of my coming home story. A year ago, almost to the date, I came out publicly on the podcast as bisexual. And today, as we close out season 4, I am deeply honored to be joined by eight queer humans that I deeply admire, respect and love to celebrate Pride and the LGBTQ+ community.

This podcast takes a format unlike any episode I’ve ever done. And I can’t wait for you to listen. To absorb these stories. To hear yourself in their voices (no matter how you identify sexually). And to help me celebrate 100 episodes.

You ready? Let’s go.

photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain