monogamy

Episode #141: Dating Is F*cking Hard | A Conversation with Ali (Finding Mr. Height)

If there’s anything I’ve learned since opening up my marriage in 2018 and getting on the dating apps for the first time in my life, it’s that dating is HARD. And I’ve felt really lost on how to approach the dating scene. I know so many of you are in my boat, and I knew an episode on the pod around all things dating was vital, and I couldn’t think of anyone better to have one than the one and only Finding Mr. Height (aka Ali).

Ali is a positive, practical dating coach who’s built social media channels with over 200k followers and conducts one-on-one coaching as well as group seminars. Ali believes that finding love should be the same as any other major goal. We can’t expect it to fall into our laps, nor can we expect the same approach to work for everyone. Using actionable, targeted strategies, Ali will help you define what you're looking for...and then go get it. Find her on TikTok and Instagram @findingmrheight or online at www.findingmrheight.com.

Here are some things we talked about in todays episode:

  • our pasts with dating/dating apps

  • what “success” means in relationships

  • what it feels like to share about your dating life online so transparently

  • our thoughts around west elm caleb

  • dating when you’re in the “public eye” and how to maintain privacy

  • dating red flags, ridiculous dating stories, dick picks and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Ali’s Instagram & Tik Tok

Finding Mr. Height

Apps we talked about: Tinder, Ok Cupid, Match, Hinge, Feeld

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer support sessions

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Become a Patreon of the podcast

Join her email list

Episode #135: WTF Should We Need & Expect Of Our Partners | A Conversation with Gabrielle Stone

You loved her the last time she was here and she’s BACK!

Gabrielle Stone (she/her), a fan favorite on the Live Your F*ck Yes Life podcast, makes no secret about her past with toxic relationships & a cheating MF of an ex husband. And she’s shared it all in her best selling books and on her podcast and beyond. I’ve been having a lot of conversations in my DMs and with friends about the expectations and needs we place on our partners and, given that I am polyamorous and inherently bring that bias and lens to any conversation around relationships, I wanted to bring on someone who consciously chooses monogamy to have this conversation with and knew that Gabrielle was the gal to call upon.

Things we talk about on this episode:

  • conversations we’ve had with our friends around the important things in relationships

  • our shared need to be seen, loved and championed for who we are

  • how societal norms have informed our paths in relationship dynamics & choices

  • the importance of communication

  • the BS narrative that healing can only happen when we’re single

  • the lessons we can take from the relationships we’ve had and have

  • the idea “soulmate” or “the one”

  • Amanda’s constellation way of viewing her relationships

  • the needs & expectations we have in our romantic partnerships

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Live Your F*ck Yes Life Summit: Non Monogamy & Polyamory

Gabrielle’s Instagram

The Ridiculous Misadventures of A Single Girl

Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy Culture

Episode 125: Eat, Pray, #FML with Gabrielle Stone

FML Talk: F%ck Polyamory

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer Support Sessions

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Become a Patreon of the podcast

Join her email list for all the important things / monthly announcements

Episode #134: I'm Addicted To You Don't You Know That You're Toxic Monogamy Culture

I’ve been sharing more and more about toxic monogamy culture and it’s been a super polarizing subject. For many, they outright deny that it could even be a thing. For others, it’s been a massive lightbulb a-ha moment where everything starts to make sense about why they’ve felt so much resistance for so long. And other folks are like F*CK YESSSS THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS IT’S SUCH A THING AND NOBODY DOES!

It’s a lot to navigate through — the responses, the emotions and our own unique response when we’re met with the idea of toxic monogamy culture in the first place — and I get it! It was A LOT for me to wrap my head around too when I started unpacking it in my own life. So today, we’re deep diving into this incredibly important topic and getting into the juicy details once and for all.

Things I cover in todays episode:

  • how me just being who I am is in and of itself polarizing for so many folks

  • compulsory heteronormativity & monogamy

  • approaching life from a lens of curiosity

  • how toxic monogamy culture is possible in monogamy AND polyamory

  • my perspective on monogamy as a whole

  • WTF toxic monogamy actually is

  • The relationship escalator

  • Some prime examples of how toxic monogamy shows up in relationships

Episode #119: Let's Talk Polyamory | A Conversation Around Perception With My Husband

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In todays episode of our “Let’s Talk Polyamory” series of the podcast, we deep dive into all things perception. I get asked about this all of the time and I get it — I was wildly concerned about how I would be perceived / the reactions my friends and family would have before coming out as polyamorous. Not to mention how it would impact my online presence and beyond.

So we deep dive into all of that.

Tune in to todays episode to hear all about:

  • how we both felt about how we would be perceived before we came out as poly

  • the reactions of our friends and family

  • the mis-perceptions around ethical non monogamy & polyamory

  • how our own perceptions and biases around the things we are pulled towards can produce massive feelings of fear and shame

  • the root of why fear of perception has impacted us individually and beyond

Episode #105: All Things Polyamory Q&A | A Conversation With My Husband

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Is monogamy the only way to build a conscious, loving and lifelong relationship?

I used to believe it was the only way. But as you know, as I shared in episode 101, after 8 years together, we moved away from the monogamous framework and stepped into the ethical non monogamous space two years ago.

I know that people have MANY strong feelings around this (and it makes sense! Monogamy is what our society is built around and I definitely had my fair share of concerns and shame spiral around even the thought of considering it for years before we moved in that direction), and I’ve been getting LOADS of questions in my Instagram DMs so I decided to bring on a super special guest — my incredibly goofy and wonderful husband — to dig into what our unique journey into polyamory has looked like.

We are certainly not experts when it comes to polyamory, ethical non monogamy or relationships — you can listen to a bunch of previous podcast episodes around relationships, sex and beyond from the experts — but I do think that almost 10 years of going through the shit with a human entitles us to have some shit to say that’s worth sharing. And hell, we are certainly experts on OUR unique individual experiences in the world of ethical non monogamy and polyamory.

And today on the podcast, we deep dive into some pretty dense topics around relationship longevity, health and beyond and I am THE MOST excited to share this conversation with you all.

Things we discuss on todays episode:

  • My husband’s unique perspective around why polyamory and ENM feels aligned for him

  • How we opened the door to transition from YEARS of monogamy and how we ended up identifying as polyamorous

  • The difference between affairs/cheating and non monogamy

  • The multiple umbrellas of non monogamy: swinging, polyamory etc.

  • Attraction and relationship preferences are a spectrum as much as sexuality & gender is

  • A deep dive into some of the ups and downs of this journey, both as individuals and as a couple

  • ENM terms like unicorn hunting, triad vs. throuple, nesting/anchor partner, non hierarchical vs. hierarchical polyamory

  • Navigating jealousy and insecurities we’ve both experienced in our journey

  • Boundaries, communication and agreements & the path to figure that shit out being MESSY AF

  • All things fantasy/kink, how polyamory isn’t really so different than monogamy, ridiculous banter between the two of us and so much more.

Episode #101: I'm Coming Out...Again | A Solo Episode

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Happy start to season 5 of the podcast!!

It’s fucking hard to believe we’re already 5 seasons in — can you believe it?

And we are kicking things off with a deep dive into an area of my personal self and my identity that I have yet to share publicly. It is something that has felt a long time coming and I’m so excited and ready to share about this part of myself.

So yeah, I’m coming out. Again. Big time.

As always, on this podcast, we tackle taboo subjects that aren’t spoken to very often. And we’re going in that space this season, DEEP. And I ask that you come in, as always, with an open heart and mind. Create space in yourself to learn and be curious. This is how we grow beyond our wildest dreams, my loves. Let’s do the damn thing.

Things I cover in today’s episode:

  • How the podcast is evolving as we head into this new season

  • My fear in sharing this aspect of myself with you all

  • What it means to live as my fullest unapologetic, fuck yes self

  • Navigating rejection for being who you are (by others and by your own self!)

  • Ownership and toxic programming in relationships

  • Ethical non monogamy, polyamory, self discovery and beyond!

Episode #100: This Is Pride (We're Here And We're Queer)

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100 episodes.

Just saying that out loud feels surreal. 100 episodes ago, I launched this podcast with a dream — a dream to cultivate a space for real, honest and candid conversations around all sorts of topics. I didn’t know where it was going to go. But I knew that the conversations I was having around taboo or TMI subjects behind closed doors with my friends and fellow entrepreneurs were ones that needed to be shared publicly.

When we leave things unsaid or don’t talk about things in the open, shame around that subject develops. And if there’s anything that I strive for with all of the work that I do is to embolden everyone I teach and come across to revel in their uniqueness and release anything holding them back not allowing them to live their f*ck yes life.

And I do it alongside of them. Alongside of you. Because coming home to yourself is lifelong work — and the deepest and most important work a human can do, in my opinion.

Owning my queerness has been a huge part of my coming home story. A year ago, almost to the date, I came out publicly on the podcast as bisexual. And today, as we close out season 4, I am deeply honored to be joined by eight queer humans that I deeply admire, respect and love to celebrate Pride and the LGBTQ+ community.

This podcast takes a format unlike any episode I’ve ever done. And I can’t wait for you to listen. To absorb these stories. To hear yourself in their voices (no matter how you identify sexually). And to help me celebrate 100 episodes.

You ready? Let’s go.

Episode #77: Q&A: Cultivating Gratitude, How BRCA and Getting A Double Mastectomy Changed my Relationship, Monogamy and Beyond | A Solo Episode

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In this episode, I’m answering your questions directly from Instagram! In this “Ask me Anything” episode, nothing is off limits. Loved doing this and definitely going to incorporate more Q&As in the future to incorporate all your Live Your F*ck Yes Lifers into the podcast content more! Feel free to email me amandakatherineloy@gmail.com for any questions you’d want covered!

WORK WITH AMANDA:

Join the Live Your F*ck Yes Life Membership — use code LYFYL for 10% off!

Book a consult for 1:1 work in emotional/binge eating and mindset

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @amandakatherineloy and don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review on Itunes!

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photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain