sex

Episode #157: Sexual Freedom & Fulfillment after Trauma with Mariah Freya from Beducated

CW: sexual assault, harassment

“Something is wrong with me.” Words I used to think and say out loud all the damn time when I wasn’t feeling turned on enough or when I felt pain during sex or when I started having sex with vulva owners and had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

If only I’d known about how trauma and living in a culture rooted in the patriarchy can impact our own body’s (and thus selves) ability to access our own needs for consent, our own voice and access our own desires.

In todays very raw and incredibly important episode, I’m so honored to be joined by Mariah Freya (she/her), co-founder and CEO of Beducated — the worlds leading online shame free sex education platform — to deep dive into all of this and more.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • our shared experience with sexual trauma and how that has impacted our sex lives and capacity for pleasure

  • cultivating safety in sex

  • Mariah’s dangerous experience in the tantric community

  • how big tech is intentionally getting in the way of shame free sex education

  • dissociation and PTSD responses during / around sex

  • ways to deepen into your pleasure with intention

  • navigating low libido, pelvic floor pain, cults, punk culture and beyond

ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:

Get 50% off yearly pass for Beducated — use code: fuckyes

Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel :)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Mariah’s Instagram | Beducated’s Instagram — use code “fuckyes”

NXIVM documentary the Vow

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Patreon to support the pod

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Fucking Queer Merch — 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses

Episode #127: MRKH Syndrome Awareness with Kylie McMahon

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What is MRKH syndrome? Until I met Kylie, I had no idea either.

When Kylie found out she had MRKH, she felt completely alone. And while it’s rare (1 in 5000 women have it), it’s something that many of us can relate to — whether we’ve had our own experiences around unexpected diagnosis that change our lives, any struggles when it comes to sex or infertility.

Kylie is from Toronto, Ontario. She’s an inspired creator, a deep feeler, and a performer at heart. She’s a human of many passions: people, dogs, music, movement, self-discovery, mental health, craft beer, Italian food, coffee, tattoos, true crime, and writing. And she’s turned all of these passions into getting her own story of living with MRKH syndrome into the world, and developing awareness of it so others feel less alone.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • How Kylie discovered she had MRKH

  • The ins and outs and MRKH

  • Navigating shame

  • Her journey with sex and not feeling “normal”

  • How the diagnosis impacted her mental health

  • Normalizing the lack of desire to have children

  • What she would tell her twenty something year old self

  • Infertility, partnered sex, all things taboo and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Sign up for a 1:1 peer support session

Let’s Talk Polyamory community zoom call

Video version of the podcast

Kylies Instagram

Couples therapy

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

1:1 coaching with Amanda — I am accepting 1-2 new coaching clients for 2021. Apply here to set up an initial call to see if this work together is a good fit.

Join her email list & get access to her fears & feels embodiment playlists

Episode #118: Let's Talk Polyamory | A Conversation Around Jealousy With My Husband

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Ever since coming out as polyamorous, I’ve gotten SO many DMs and messages with really incredible questions from all of you. So I decided to do a special polyamory series of the podcast, and bring on my husband Kevan every week to talk about the biggest questions, fears & beyond that we receive to speak to these topics in a deeper way.

The number one question I get? How do you navigate jealousy?

So today, we break down our personal experiences around jealousy, what’s worked for us and the biggest tools that have supported us in navigating jealousy when moving from a monogamous framework to a polyamorous one.

This episode is a deep one (and one for you no matter how you choose to do relationships ‘cause we all experience jealousy to a certain degree, eh?)

So buckle up and let’s f*cking go!

Episode #106: Using Pleasure To Cope With Trauma And Grief - A Conversation with Alyssa Pressman

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Hi loves.

Todays episode is different — you may notice that there’s no typical intro music/snippets — because it didn’t feel right today. This week has been heavy. Hell, this year has been a fucking trip. And I wrestled with the idea of not releasing a podcast episode today — I wasn’t sure how we would be experiencing this post election day time. And when I woke up yesterday morning, in a mix of deep feels/sadness and hope for a brighter future in the US, I knew that this conversation, with a soul human of mine, was one that I needed to share with all of you today.

And with that, I’d like to introduce to you my friend and kindred spirit, Alyssa Pressman (she/her).

Alyssa is a Licensed Clinical Therapist & Certified Sex + Relationship Coach. She specializes in pleasure & joy post trauma, grief & with chronic illness. She loves supporting women in moving closer to themselves, to other people and to creating lives that feel in deep alignment with their unique desires. She is a BRCA1 mutation carrier like me, and a person living with chronic illness and pain. Reaching for joy and pleasure has been deeply healing for her. When not working, you can find her dancing, lounging, reading or cooking, usually scantily clad if not naked. She loves talking, learning and sharing on all things sex, relationships, death, healing & dark nights of the soul-you know, all the super casual things.

I invite you to take this one on a walk outside, or curl up with a cup of tea and absorb these words as a way to get away, for a moment, from the chaos. You are so loved.


Things we discuss in todays episode:

  • Alyssa’s wake up call around a chronic illness that made it impossible to have penetrative sex without serious pain in her younger twenties

  • How her work as a sex & relationship coach started to empower her sexually, in a more wholistic way

  • Pelvic floor struggles

  • BRCA and the other piece of the fear with our mutual diagnosis: ovarian cancer

  • Self pleasure practices & building a relationship with your pussy

  • How to claim your sexuality as your own and experience life changing pleasure

  • Redefining what sex and pleasure is

  • How to talk to your partner(s) around how to have more connected intimacy with one another

  • Boobs, the beauty of being un-partnered, using pleasure as a form of self care and beyond

Episode #105: All Things Polyamory Q&A | A Conversation With My Husband

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Is monogamy the only way to build a conscious, loving and lifelong relationship?

I used to believe it was the only way. But as you know, as I shared in episode 101, after 8 years together, we moved away from the monogamous framework and stepped into the ethical non monogamous space two years ago.

I know that people have MANY strong feelings around this (and it makes sense! Monogamy is what our society is built around and I definitely had my fair share of concerns and shame spiral around even the thought of considering it for years before we moved in that direction), and I’ve been getting LOADS of questions in my Instagram DMs so I decided to bring on a super special guest — my incredibly goofy and wonderful husband — to dig into what our unique journey into polyamory has looked like.

We are certainly not experts when it comes to polyamory, ethical non monogamy or relationships — you can listen to a bunch of previous podcast episodes around relationships, sex and beyond from the experts — but I do think that almost 10 years of going through the shit with a human entitles us to have some shit to say that’s worth sharing. And hell, we are certainly experts on OUR unique individual experiences in the world of ethical non monogamy and polyamory.

And today on the podcast, we deep dive into some pretty dense topics around relationship longevity, health and beyond and I am THE MOST excited to share this conversation with you all.

Things we discuss on todays episode:

  • My husband’s unique perspective around why polyamory and ENM feels aligned for him

  • How we opened the door to transition from YEARS of monogamy and how we ended up identifying as polyamorous

  • The difference between affairs/cheating and non monogamy

  • The multiple umbrellas of non monogamy: swinging, polyamory etc.

  • Attraction and relationship preferences are a spectrum as much as sexuality & gender is

  • A deep dive into some of the ups and downs of this journey, both as individuals and as a couple

  • ENM terms like unicorn hunting, triad vs. throuple, nesting/anchor partner, non hierarchical vs. hierarchical polyamory

  • Navigating jealousy and insecurities we’ve both experienced in our journey

  • Boundaries, communication and agreements & the path to figure that shit out being MESSY AF

  • All things fantasy/kink, how polyamory isn’t really so different than monogamy, ridiculous banter between the two of us and so much more.

Episode #103: Let's Talk About Sex Baby with Gabrielle Kassel

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This week on the podcast, we deep dive into all things sex with Gabrielle Kassel. This episode is a MUST listen if you are having sex. And yes…I definitely share some personal stories I never thought I’d be talking about online — Mom, maybe don’t listen to this one!

Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sexual health journalist who focuses on creating sex-positive, queer-inclusive, health-informed stories about everything from scissor and anal fisting to STI testing and aftercare, whos work has been published in various publications such as Cosmopolitan, Healthline, Women's Health, Greatist, Men's Health, Shape, Well and Good, and more. She's also in training to be a sex educator and does CrossFit coaching on the side.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • How she got into queer focused sex journalism

  • The most vulnerable share she’s shared online about her own sex life

  • How being a sex journalist has impacted her personal life

  • How to communicate and get your get your needs met in the bedroom

  • Queer sex

  • How to amplify your sex life

  • Orgasms, and how she had her first orgasm this year

  • Sex toys, masturbation, anal play and beyond!

Episode #56: Vulnerability in the Bedroom, Orgasms and All Things Sex with Olivia Seline

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Olivia Seline is a leader who shows women how to lead themselves. She lead’s women to sexual liberation so they can have vibrant, intimate relationships & steamy sex lives. 

As a Sex & Success Coach for entrepreneurial women, she shows you how your sex life is DIRECTLY correlated to the success that you create and magnetize in your life and business. By turning yourself on and harnessing your sexual energy, Olivia will guide you to intimately know your power. She will walk alongside you to your self-discovery. She will show you that you have had the power all along. The power not only to love, know, trust, and feel confidently about yourself, but to change the trajectory of your relationship, your business, your life, and the lives of all of those you come in contact with to being confident there too.

Things we discuss in today’s episode:

  • Why the f*ck sex is such a stigma in our world

  • Faking orgasms

  • How to improve your sex life

  • The best ways to bring true pleasure into your life

  • The 5 Erotic Blueprints

  • Conscious Monogamy

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

Olivia’s Instagram | Podcast

Free offers over at www.oliviaseline.com 

Join Olivia’s free facebook group

5 Erotic Blueprint Quiz

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a squad of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @amandakatherineloy and don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review on Itunes!

Episode #51: Breaking the Stigma of Therapy with Rachel Wright

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When you hear the word therapy, does it bring up positive or negative emotions for you?

Therapy used to be something I didn’t think I needed and gave a it a major bad rap. But my perspective on the matter has changed drastically in the last few months as I’ve explored my own experience of working with a therapist. Yup, I am a major therapy convert. And I’m talking about my own experience in therapy for the first time on todays episode.

So to talk about all the things and give you the most candid conversation about a topic so polarizing, I brought back on to the podcast one of my favorite humans on the planet, therapist and sex, relationships and mental health expert Rachel Wright.

Things we discuss in today’s episode:

  • Why Rachel wanted to be a therapist

  • How therapy and theatre are so linked

  • Her first experience of therapy as a fourteen year old (and the juicy deets on why her parents shoved her into therapy in the first place)

  • The good, the bad & the ugly of the therapy model

  • Where to even start on finding the right therapist for you

  • Why I finally took the deep dive and started going to therapy

  • Self care starts with mental health

  • How to know if you need therapy

  • A huge aha moment I had in therapy a few weeks ago

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

Rachel’s Instagram | Website

Episode 37 with Rachel on Anxiety

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a squad of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @amandakatherineloy and don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review on itunes!

Episode #35: Polyamory and ethical non monogamy with Dedeker Winston

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

Our narratives around love and sex and romance don’t necessarily hold up all of the time.

Dedeker Winston was raised to be a wholesome Christian conservative, but later opted to be a sex-positive polyamory activist, relationship coach, and nude model. She currently provides one-on-one coaching services for people transitioning into non-monogamy and is one of the hosts of the Multiamory podcast. She has been sought out as an expert for Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Newsweek, Vice, Bustle, AskMen, and recently presented a Talk at Google on non-monogamy. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory.

Here are a few things we discuss in todays episode:

  • Polyamory 101: what does it even mean to be polyamorous?

  • Dedeker’s journey from conservative Christian to sex positive and ethical non monogamy activist

  • Removing the stigma from ethical non monogamy

  • Infidelity, affairs and being attracted to someone else when you’re already in a relationship

  • Cultural norms and the expectations placed on us without being aware of it

  • The relationship escalator and how more of us are on it without even realizing it

  • Jealousy

  • The multiple ways you can dive into the world of ethical non monogamy

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

TEAMI BLENDS TEAS — use code LYFYL for 15% off your purchase

Websites: dedekerwinston.com | multiamory.com
Twitter: @dedekerwinston
Snag her book The Smart Girls Guide to Polyamory // Audiobook version coming out on October 18th!

Stepping off The Relationship Escalator

Relationship anarchist manifesto

Cappadocia

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

Episode #9: How to communicate effectively with your partner & rekindle the spark in your relationship with Rachel and Kyle Wright

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EPISODE SNEAK PEEK

"A lot of the times we have stories going on in our heads about sex or pleasure in our heads that we don't even know are there. And they're from the media or our familIes or 'Mom told me that if you do x y and z you're a slut' so I can't do those things, and you have no idea that that's playing in the background the whole time and that's why you're not orgasm-ing in bed."

What would it look like to revolutionize how we share, teach, and talk about sex, relationships, and mental health? That’s exactly what Rachel + Kyle Wright have set out to do. Wright Wellness Center is bridging the gap between a self-help book and a therapist’s couch — bringing psycho-education to life and equipping people with the tools they need (and that our society doesn't teach us!) to have fulfilling and healthy relationships and lives. 

Here are a few things we discussed in today’s episode:

  • The story of how Rachel & Kyle met
  • The effect building a business together has had on their marriage
  • Where my love of post it notes started
  • How to move out of the "roommate trap" in your relationship, and why you're in it in the first place
  • Communication tools to open the door to a happy and healthy relationship
  • How to actually understand the emotions you and your partner are experiencing
  • How to get back to being intimate when you've lost the spark in your relationship
  • Love languages as a tool for understanding how you show love and receive love
  • Why putting yourself first is CRUCIAL for your relationship

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE

Bullymake -- use code LYFYL for $10 off your box!

WWC Facebook group // Member Hub

George Carlin's book 

Ladies & Libidos masterclass

Love Languages test

Meyers briggs test

The Aviary

 

BOMB ASS WAYS TO CONNECT 

Join our community where we chat all things real talk, and you get the inside scoop on guests, a chance to ask questions & be surrounded by a tribe of ladies who GET you!

Shout out the pod on Instagram and tag @liveyourfuckyeslife or leave a review on itunes to get featured on the podcast! 

photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain