CW: sexual assault, harassment

“Something is wrong with me.” Words I used to think and say out loud all the damn time when I wasn’t feeling turned on enough or when I felt pain during sex or when I started having sex with vulva owners and had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

If only I’d known about how trauma and living in a culture rooted in the patriarchy can impact our own body’s (and thus selves) ability to access our own needs for consent, our own voice and access our own desires.

In todays very raw and incredibly important episode, I’m so honored to be joined by Mariah Freya (she/her), co-founder and CEO of Beducated — the worlds leading online shame free sex education platform — to deep dive into all of this and more.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

our shared experience with sexual trauma and how that has impacted our sex lives and capacity for pleasure
cultivating safety in sex
Mariah’s dangerous experience in the tantric community
how big tech is intentionally getting in the way of shame free sex education
dissociation and PTSD responses during / around sex
ways to deepen into your pleasure with intention
navigating low libido, pelvic floor pain, cults, punk culture and beyond

ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:

Get 50% off yearly pass for Beducated — use code: fuckyes

Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel :)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Mariah’s Instagram | Beducated’s Instagram — use code “fuckyes”

NXIVM documentary the Vow

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Patreon to support the pod

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Fucking Queer Merch — 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses

After our last episode on the various relationship models, it felt only fitting to expand on the relationship model that I know most folks are usually either very intrigued and excited by or absolutely terrified about considering — and that is: solo polyamory.

I am not a solo polyamorous person. Never have been, and given my personal values and needs (and inherent biases and privileges), I likely will never choose to intentionally step into that path. But I know that it resonates HARD for many folks, and I knew this conversation that I had with Jayda in May 2021 for a workshop, that she consented to sharing on todays episode of the podcast with all of you, was gonna rock your world as much as it did.

Jayda Shuavarnnnasri (she/they) is a queer Southeast Asian sexuality & relationship educator and trauma-sensitive facilitator. Also known as Sex Positive Asian Auntie, she works to liberate folks from sexual shame by creating space for authentic conversations about sexuality, relationships, identity and healing. The topics that excite her most are sexual exploration, identity, transformative justice, and non-conventional relationships.

Things she highlights & talks about in todays episode:

Curiosity & exploration of self in juxtaposition of societal norms
Their experience of being cheated on 4 years ago and how that led into research re: non monogamy
Nobody really knows what the fuck they’re doing in any relationship style
The false perception that non monogamy is the same as being “single & dating”
Jayda’s solo polyamory journey
The relationship galaxy model
Approaching non monogamy from a lens of possibility vs. Rigidity
The importance of being trauma informed in opening up your relationship
Navigating life as the caregiver/oldest child, choosing to be child free, astrology shiz, core values, shame and beyond

CONNECT/WORK WITH JAYDA:

Jaydas Instagram

Jumping Off The Relationship Escalator self paced workshop

Poetry collection: “From A Place of Love”

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Ethical Slut

Opening Up

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer support sessions

Patreon

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Amanda’s Instagram | Website