kink

Episode #157: Sexual Freedom & Fulfillment after Trauma with Mariah Freya from Beducated

CW: sexual assault, harassment

“Something is wrong with me.” Words I used to think and say out loud all the damn time when I wasn’t feeling turned on enough or when I felt pain during sex or when I started having sex with vulva owners and had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

If only I’d known about how trauma and living in a culture rooted in the patriarchy can impact our own body’s (and thus selves) ability to access our own needs for consent, our own voice and access our own desires.

In todays very raw and incredibly important episode, I’m so honored to be joined by Mariah Freya (she/her), co-founder and CEO of Beducated — the worlds leading online shame free sex education platform — to deep dive into all of this and more.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • our shared experience with sexual trauma and how that has impacted our sex lives and capacity for pleasure

  • cultivating safety in sex

  • Mariah’s dangerous experience in the tantric community

  • how big tech is intentionally getting in the way of shame free sex education

  • dissociation and PTSD responses during / around sex

  • ways to deepen into your pleasure with intention

  • navigating low libido, pelvic floor pain, cults, punk culture and beyond

ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:

Get 50% off yearly pass for Beducated — use code: fuckyes

Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel :)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Mariah’s Instagram | Beducated’s Instagram — use code “fuckyes”

NXIVM documentary the Vow

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Patreon to support the pod

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Fucking Queer Merch — 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses

Episode #133: Demisexual Sluts Unite | A Conversation with Jessica Levity

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Demisexual sluts unite.

Okay, all jokes aside for a minute, today on the podcast, we’re deep diving into all things demisexuality. Whether you identify as a slut or not, you’re gonna LOVE this conversation where my friend and fellow polyamorous creator & educator Jess deep dive into our personal experiences coming into our demisexuality — and so much more.

Who is Jess? Jessica Levity (she/her) is a digital media and live entertainment producer and entertainer livin' in Reno, Nevada. Pre-panny you could find her on stage in a variety of touring shows through her company Homeslice Productions. After the pandemic killed her industry, she finally launched a "back-burner" project called "Remodeled Love", whose mission is to "expand the cultural narrative on healthy relationships and polyamory". It is now her most successful (and global) project! She's a white, cis woman, who identifies as a queer, polyamorous, demisexual slut. She's also a mama, an anti-capitalist, and witchy as fuck.

If you don’t know her, get ready to fall in love with her energy, her real-ness and the hilarity that ensues in this conversation.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • Woo practices & outlining the most important pieces of our dating profiles

  • The definition of demisexuality

  • What being demisexual has meant for us

  • Our group chat of polyamorous creators

  • How things plays into our individual journeys with kink

  • How we both feel about being demisexual and how it impacts our polyamorous journeys

  • Power, expectations, flirting, body dysmorphia and beyond

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Jess’s Instagram | Website

Remodeled podcast

Jessamyn Stanley

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer support sessions

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Become a Patreon of the podcast

Join her email list for all the important things / monthly announcements

Episode #105: All Things Polyamory Q&A | A Conversation With My Husband

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Is monogamy the only way to build a conscious, loving and lifelong relationship?

I used to believe it was the only way. But as you know, as I shared in episode 101, after 8 years together, we moved away from the monogamous framework and stepped into the ethical non monogamous space two years ago.

I know that people have MANY strong feelings around this (and it makes sense! Monogamy is what our society is built around and I definitely had my fair share of concerns and shame spiral around even the thought of considering it for years before we moved in that direction), and I’ve been getting LOADS of questions in my Instagram DMs so I decided to bring on a super special guest — my incredibly goofy and wonderful husband — to dig into what our unique journey into polyamory has looked like.

We are certainly not experts when it comes to polyamory, ethical non monogamy or relationships — you can listen to a bunch of previous podcast episodes around relationships, sex and beyond from the experts — but I do think that almost 10 years of going through the shit with a human entitles us to have some shit to say that’s worth sharing. And hell, we are certainly experts on OUR unique individual experiences in the world of ethical non monogamy and polyamory.

And today on the podcast, we deep dive into some pretty dense topics around relationship longevity, health and beyond and I am THE MOST excited to share this conversation with you all.

Things we discuss on todays episode:

  • My husband’s unique perspective around why polyamory and ENM feels aligned for him

  • How we opened the door to transition from YEARS of monogamy and how we ended up identifying as polyamorous

  • The difference between affairs/cheating and non monogamy

  • The multiple umbrellas of non monogamy: swinging, polyamory etc.

  • Attraction and relationship preferences are a spectrum as much as sexuality & gender is

  • A deep dive into some of the ups and downs of this journey, both as individuals and as a couple

  • ENM terms like unicorn hunting, triad vs. throuple, nesting/anchor partner, non hierarchical vs. hierarchical polyamory

  • Navigating jealousy and insecurities we’ve both experienced in our journey

  • Boundaries, communication and agreements & the path to figure that shit out being MESSY AF

  • All things fantasy/kink, how polyamory isn’t really so different than monogamy, ridiculous banter between the two of us and so much more.

photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain