jealousy

Episode #134: I'm Addicted To You Don't You Know That You're Toxic Monogamy Culture

I’ve been sharing more and more about toxic monogamy culture and it’s been a super polarizing subject. For many, they outright deny that it could even be a thing. For others, it’s been a massive lightbulb a-ha moment where everything starts to make sense about why they’ve felt so much resistance for so long. And other folks are like F*CK YESSSS THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS IT’S SUCH A THING AND NOBODY DOES!

It’s a lot to navigate through — the responses, the emotions and our own unique response when we’re met with the idea of toxic monogamy culture in the first place — and I get it! It was A LOT for me to wrap my head around too when I started unpacking it in my own life. So today, we’re deep diving into this incredibly important topic and getting into the juicy details once and for all.

Things I cover in todays episode:

  • how me just being who I am is in and of itself polarizing for so many folks

  • compulsory heteronormativity & monogamy

  • approaching life from a lens of curiosity

  • how toxic monogamy culture is possible in monogamy AND polyamory

  • my perspective on monogamy as a whole

  • WTF toxic monogamy actually is

  • The relationship escalator

  • Some prime examples of how toxic monogamy shows up in relationships

Episode #118: Let's Talk Polyamory | A Conversation Around Jealousy With My Husband

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Ever since coming out as polyamorous, I’ve gotten SO many DMs and messages with really incredible questions from all of you. So I decided to do a special polyamory series of the podcast, and bring on my husband Kevan every week to talk about the biggest questions, fears & beyond that we receive to speak to these topics in a deeper way.

The number one question I get? How do you navigate jealousy?

So today, we break down our personal experiences around jealousy, what’s worked for us and the biggest tools that have supported us in navigating jealousy when moving from a monogamous framework to a polyamorous one.

This episode is a deep one (and one for you no matter how you choose to do relationships ‘cause we all experience jealousy to a certain degree, eh?)

So buckle up and let’s f*cking go!

Episode #105: All Things Polyamory Q&A | A Conversation With My Husband

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Is monogamy the only way to build a conscious, loving and lifelong relationship?

I used to believe it was the only way. But as you know, as I shared in episode 101, after 8 years together, we moved away from the monogamous framework and stepped into the ethical non monogamous space two years ago.

I know that people have MANY strong feelings around this (and it makes sense! Monogamy is what our society is built around and I definitely had my fair share of concerns and shame spiral around even the thought of considering it for years before we moved in that direction), and I’ve been getting LOADS of questions in my Instagram DMs so I decided to bring on a super special guest — my incredibly goofy and wonderful husband — to dig into what our unique journey into polyamory has looked like.

We are certainly not experts when it comes to polyamory, ethical non monogamy or relationships — you can listen to a bunch of previous podcast episodes around relationships, sex and beyond from the experts — but I do think that almost 10 years of going through the shit with a human entitles us to have some shit to say that’s worth sharing. And hell, we are certainly experts on OUR unique individual experiences in the world of ethical non monogamy and polyamory.

And today on the podcast, we deep dive into some pretty dense topics around relationship longevity, health and beyond and I am THE MOST excited to share this conversation with you all.

Things we discuss on todays episode:

  • My husband’s unique perspective around why polyamory and ENM feels aligned for him

  • How we opened the door to transition from YEARS of monogamy and how we ended up identifying as polyamorous

  • The difference between affairs/cheating and non monogamy

  • The multiple umbrellas of non monogamy: swinging, polyamory etc.

  • Attraction and relationship preferences are a spectrum as much as sexuality & gender is

  • A deep dive into some of the ups and downs of this journey, both as individuals and as a couple

  • ENM terms like unicorn hunting, triad vs. throuple, nesting/anchor partner, non hierarchical vs. hierarchical polyamory

  • Navigating jealousy and insecurities we’ve both experienced in our journey

  • Boundaries, communication and agreements & the path to figure that shit out being MESSY AF

  • All things fantasy/kink, how polyamory isn’t really so different than monogamy, ridiculous banter between the two of us and so much more.

photos by Kyle Wilson , Zeke D and Cam Frontain