After our last episode on the various relationship models, it felt only fitting to expand on the relationship model that I know most folks are usually either very intrigued and excited by or absolutely terrified about considering — and that is: solo polyamory.

I am not a solo polyamorous person. Never have been, and given my personal values and needs (and inherent biases and privileges), I likely will never choose to intentionally step into that path. But I know that it resonates HARD for many folks, and I knew this conversation that I had with Jayda in May 2021 for a workshop, that she consented to sharing on todays episode of the podcast with all of you, was gonna rock your world as much as it did.

Jayda Shuavarnnnasri (she/they) is a queer Southeast Asian sexuality & relationship educator and trauma-sensitive facilitator. Also known as Sex Positive Asian Auntie, she works to liberate folks from sexual shame by creating space for authentic conversations about sexuality, relationships, identity and healing. The topics that excite her most are sexual exploration, identity, transformative justice, and non-conventional relationships.

Things she highlights & talks about in todays episode:

Curiosity & exploration of self in juxtaposition of societal norms
Their experience of being cheated on 4 years ago and how that led into research re: non monogamy
Nobody really knows what the fuck they’re doing in any relationship style
The false perception that non monogamy is the same as being “single & dating”
Jayda’s solo polyamory journey
The relationship galaxy model
Approaching non monogamy from a lens of possibility vs. Rigidity
The importance of being trauma informed in opening up your relationship
Navigating life as the caregiver/oldest child, choosing to be child free, astrology shiz, core values, shame and beyond

CONNECT/WORK WITH JAYDA:

Jaydas Instagram

Jumping Off The Relationship Escalator self paced workshop

Poetry collection: “From A Place of Love”

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Ethical Slut

Opening Up

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Peer support sessions

Patreon

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Amanda’s Instagram | Website

Join her email list

Confused AF about what kind of relationship model you actually want because all you’ve ever been taught is monogamy or bust? And even THEN, monogamy has soooo much variability from person to person around expectations, needs, what the relationship feels like/looks like, boundaries etc?

Amanda was too.

We aren’t taught this shit. We’re just thrown into the world to figure it out by the seat of our pants, so she’s popping into your earbuds today to talk about just what your options really are, so you can move through your relationships and life decisions from a place that is rooted in your unique values, desires and needs.

Things she talks about in todays episode:

A breakdown of the different relationship models, from Monogamy to Relationship Anarchy (all along her Fuck Yes Relationship Model scale) — go to @amandkatherineloy on Instagram for the visual to follow along
What model she feels most particularly aligned with
The importance of knowing your values
How to communicate with your partners so you can have aligned expectations

RESOURCES:

Polysecure by Jessica Fern